Belly Buttons & Those Who Flash Them

What's the big effin' deal? Everywhere you look -- television, the web, the street -- people are lifting their shirts and showing off their belly buttons. I don't have anything against belly buttons. I mean, we all have one, but that's my point. I have a crack in my ass, too, but it doesn't make me special. And if it's about a tattoo, or a belly button ring, or even 6-pack abs, still, BFD! I'm supposed to be impressed by this vapid, pointless vanity?

I wish these people would show off something else, like their minds, or their talents, or the things that truly make someone special. Like correct apostrophe usage or something. But belly buttons?

There's a workout commercial in which a blond (using that awful croaky, lazy voice that's so popular with girls right now) says, "I love my abs, I love my belly, I love my abdominals..." Yeah. Sorry you don't love that dead car battery in your head that barely passes as a brain.

The fascination with our belly button usually ends with toddlerhood. But then, that's the issue anyway. The sexy eternal child. The giggling, pouting, simpering, hairless, belly-button infatuated child woman and her dumb-as-a-stick, hairless, bratty boy with an eternal hard-on.

I want substance, people! I miss young people who read, who think, who philosophize, and who are interested in these things in other people. Will we ever get that back?


  1. My belly button is best hidden under a couple of layers of clothing, thank you very much.

  2. Hallelujah and Amen!!!!! Sing it, sistah!!!!!

    Anyone who sees my belly button had better be: a) a doctor or nurse; b) someone I think is (or, wonder of wonders, is) in love with me. Since there's no need for (a) and no such animal as (b), my belly button is under wraps!

  3. Even if I weighed 100-105 pounds again, like I did until I turned 40, I'd still not show my belly off. I'm modest that way. Hell, Nettl and I have been together for nearly a decade and I STILL dress in the bathroom.

  4. That was a great post! I know just how you feel about that workout commercial! My husband and I were sitting, watching TV yesterday and that commercial came on and that girl started with the "I love my belly, I love my abdominals." I thought the same thing you did, why don't people start using their brains more instead of worrying about using an ab machine? I am a newbie to your blog, You definitely have a new fan!

  5. ya know. belly buttons never did anything to you.

    but seriously. I enjoy bellies to be shown. tastefully though, with class.

    well. to each her own I guess.

    I say, bellys be proud!


    Holly Hall

  6. Kay, maybe we're just old farts after all. Oh well. Tough beans!

  7. Holly, I clearly said that I have nothing against belly buttons. :) And I don't mind at all short tops, or lose rise pants. What I'm talking about is belly button flashing for no reason at all except to show off or shock. Like you say, tastefully.

  8. In my quest to help make the world a better place, I keep my belly button (and other anatomical neighbors)hidden from general view. hahahaha

  9. Tess, I tried to leave a comment on your blog, but nothing happened when I tried to. No comment box, no nothing. Sorry!

  10. Thanks so much for letting me know about my comment box Steph! I think I fixed it. If it wasn't for you I would have been *lifts arm and sniffs pit* wondering why no one would talk to me. Haahaha!

  11. Thanks for the 'welcome home' greeting!
    All the best for a happy healthy new year for you both and your families.....I hope that 2009 treats you well and that lots of people need music and vocal coaching....!!!

    My belly button is hidden - especially in this cold weather lol

  12. There seemed to be a time when those shorter, belly-flashing tops were popular and some young, pregnant women wore/wear them rather than the past traditional loose-fitting maternity tops. I can't tell you how many friends of mine seemed to think they were disgusting. I thought they were adorable. Time and time again, I heard comments about how they shouldn't be showing off their bellies like that and I couldn't for the life of me understand why.

    I realize this is totally different and I don't disagree with you. It just got me thinking.. sometimes a scary thing.


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