Minor Irritations

Minor Irritation #1:
Have you ever wondered why microwave ovens, range hood lights, and coffeemakers have to "beep" with every button-push? What does it accomplish? Is there any rational explanation for putting that feature on every button in the kitchen? Setting the clocks is especially irritating because every press of the button is accompanied by that constant beep-beep-beep-beep. Why is it there? I KNOW that I'm setting the clock, damn it. Does everyone in the house need to know? The same applies to setting the microwave timer, taking the hood fan through its different settings, setting the oven temperature and timer, and turning the hood light to medium, high and off. Why? What purpose does it serve?

Minor Irritation #2:
I'm walking through the aisles of the supermarket and I need to get laundry stuff. Mountain Rain, Spring Meadow, Tropical Passion. I just want to wash my freakin' clothes, I don't want to smell like some chemical analyst's pseudo-nature fragrance. And why do I have to pay more money for detergent that has no chemical perfumes? Isn't that paying for something they DIDN'T include in the mix? I'm paying more for less. Then there's the fabric softeners, not to mention deodorant, shampoo, soap, room freshener, How do plain old natural scents stand a chance against these competing smells? Instead of apple pie fragrance room freshener, just freakin' buy a Sarah Lee and stick it in the oven. At least you get something good to eat out of it.

During last week's grocery excursion, Micah and I mused on this and started coming up alternate labels:

New Gain South Sea Sailor Scent!

Glade Mountain Moose Pie Frangrance!

Dial Man Cave Aroma!

Pirate's Armpit Downy!

Why does everything have to smell like something else? Why can't soap smell like soap? I use Ivory because I have sensitive skin that reacts badly with chemical perfumes and, personally, I like the clean smell of good old-fashioned soap and water. The only scent I really like in the case of personal products is Crabtree & Evelyn's Goat Milk soap, but it's kind of expensive for family use. In my single days, I bought it as well as the shampoo, which they no longer make, but even then I ran the risk of smelling like a Swiss milkmaid, I guess.