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2.12.2009

Letters To Dad

Dad died in May of 1993. Since then, there hasn't been a single day that I have not thought about him, or missed him.

Today (yesterday to diurnal people), when the crisis came up about the car situation, I quietly reached the end of what I can handle, feeling like I was in quicksand with no one to offer me a branch. In a fraction of a second two thoughts went through my mind: 1) I need to call Dad and, 2) I can't call Dad. Then it occurred to me that I could write to him.

When you're in quicksand up to your chin, you'll try anything.

I opened up MS Word and let it pour out. I told him about the situation and how we're on a slippery slope to hell if we don't get some help soon. I confessed sins. I apologized. In short, I wrote to him exactly as I did when he was still here. As I saved and closed the document, I got an instantaneous sense that it was a done deal. I felt total peace. Then I went back to work.

It wasn't three hours later that Nettl came home and we figured out a solution to the issue. A really GOOD solution. Maybe Dad didn't "make it so", but maybejust maybehe opened our minds a little so that we could figure out some possibilities for ourselves.

I've decided to continue writing Letters To Dad. He doesn't seem so far away now.

15 comments :

  1. I never knew my dad. I envy you. But judging from what my mother's been through, I'm probably better off.

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  2. I love the quote on your sidebar. Very appropriate for what we've just been through.

    ILD!


    Alan: Not all Dad's are like Steph's. I can't go to my dad when I'm troubled or in need of help. I never have been able to. Theirs is a very special relationship that I can only dream of.

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  3. It's always good to find a way to cope with things better. :)

    Good for you for trying something different! I might just have to follow your action...

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  4. apparently that makes 3 of us who cant count on our dads...but I can't say I don't know mine- I do, and I know him so well it aggravates me.

    steph, I think writing to your dad is a great idea! Maybe I'll do that with my stepdad who passed away several years ago..I too could talk to him.

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  5. What an inspirational tribute to your dad, Steph.

    My dad, like yours, was my rock on whom I leaned in times of trouble; my mom was the rock that would crush me.

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  6. I think this is a wonderful idea.

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  7. Writing is good. But I sort of point things out to Mom, to Dad, that they liked, to form a bridge, to not forget.
    Lyn

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  8. I wish that I had that kind of relationship with my dad; thank God I had it with my husband.

    It seems to me that when you get into your *conversations with dad* mode, you relax and open up and allow for ideas to connect. He was a kind of glue for your thoughts as well as for your heart

    Well.. better stated: When you think about him you seem to get to where you can put things together for a solution. Like Smart Glue.
    ~Lorna

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  9. Inspired and inspiring idea, Steph.

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  10. My dad is gone but I still catch a glimpse of him. Both my stepmother and I swear he's stalking us. Three psychics have told me that he's watching and is worried about me. I can appreciate that but wonder why he didn't save me from my nutty mother. Worry is fine but help would help.

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  11. that is absolutely beautiful... it moved me.

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  12. May your Dad be always close to you,
    especially in times of need!

    I lost mine way too young and miss him every day.

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  13. My mum died 18 years ago...actually, I am the last of my family. I figure that when I moved out of home, they were all absent in some way and now that they have died we just inhabit different spaces - so I still regard them as present somewhere......if that makes sense!

    If I need a car parking space, or something to fit in a space, or something specific to happen - I just ask 'Mother' and it usually works out. So much so, that within my circle of friends, 'Mother is a legend' as they have seen the results and they often call on her or thank her if something extremely coincidental happens.

    I think writing "Letters To Dad" is a good idea.

    I wonder if it is actually 'Mother' who helps, in my case - or one of the others.....needless to say, I am happy for all the help I can get - moreover I am quite looking forward to finding out for myself one day...If I get to see any of them - wherever they have gone to.

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  14. It's a good thing to do. Keep it up.

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  15. My dad died in 1993 also and I too miss him every day. I know just how you feel. When times get really tough, I just talk to him (not out loud of course, don't want folks to think I'm crazy!). Yes, it helps. My sister and I know he still has a hand in a lot that goes on in our lives. Keep writing to him - he's listening!

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