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2.23.2009

A Wee Sermon

I had no idea how much of me had slowly gone to sleep, month-by-month, since 1993. First, it was a lack of energy, then I lost my ability to make decisions, then I lost my music, and then my physical senses.

When my dad quit smoking after fifty years of Pall Mall unfiltered cigarettes, he said that he was amazed by how badly his senses of smell and taste had been dulled. He didn't even notice it until they began to reawaken. Likewise, I didn't realize how much I'd lost due to Hashimoto's until my THS levels finally balanced out a few weeks ago.

My sense of taste is sharper, for example, as well as my hearing. I've also noticed that my absolute pitch is back. For a long time, I couldn't figure out why I could not "hear" to tune my guitar. My pitch was all fookered up...

One night last week while we were watching telly, Nettl reached over and stroked my hair and I swear every nerve ending of my scalp lept to attention. I didn't even realize that I'd been slowly losing my sense of touch. My hope is that in time it all will come back. I'd love to feel inspired again, to want to play the paino, to compose, to feel that euphoria that only music gave me.

Please do yourself a favor. If you're experiencing the symptoms listed on this page, please see your doctor. All it takes is a simple blood test. It's easy to think that the fatigue you're feeling when you wake up is due to getting older, but don't let decades go by before you do something. Life's too short to spend even one year in the hell I've lived in these past sixteen years.