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9.26.2007

Creative Conundrums

Seems I'm faced with a few conundrums today. Oh, none of them are as earthshaking as the issues surrounding the cubed egg, and I'm not sure they even warrant a blog entry, but writing about them is easier than figuring them out. You see, my THS levels have started adjusting and my brain feels like a 33-rpm record set to play at 16-rpm. Those of you who were born before 1985 have no idea what that metaphor is referring to, but trust me. It means that something that already moves slowly is moving even slower.

The problem with creative conundrums, generally speaking, is that they're circular arguments with oneself: "If I do this, then that has to be done first, but I can't do that until I do those things over there. But those things can't be done until I do this." And I'm back where I started... or didn't start, because I haven't started that, and I can't until that gets done... But there I go again...



I really need to do a few things around the house today:
  • Laundry
  • Trashes
  • Bathrooms 1 & 2
  • Kitchen
  • Dusting
  • Sweeping and mopping
  • Putting music away (last week the aquarium cracked, draining nearly three gallons of water on our sheet music, scores, and a bunch of CDs that I was stupid enough to store beneath a 5-gallon aquarium. Since then, it's been lying all over the living room floor with a box fan blowing the pages around)
I can't get to the laundry yet because Micah, who's an insomniac like his mom, is still asleep. I can do the other things though, but I'd rather write about them than actually do them.

My other conundrum concerns music. Micah got my new sound card installed last night and the quality is just too good. I'm feeling inspired to work on some of my own, but listening to CDs is giving me so much inspiration that I just can't get to work on my stuff yet. And I've already had my regulation two cups of coffee. If I have any more, to help boost my energy level so that I can get busy with all this stuff, then I'll be spending this rush of creativity in the loo.

I'm driving myself crazy, but I recognize this. It's part of my creative process. I've always had to "get things done" before setting into a musical project. How many times have I sat down to compose, only to jump up and clean a bathroom, do some dishes, or water the plants? Those things done at last, I have to glue my ass at the piano/computer/guitar for a full hour (which isn't easy when I'm like this) and then I'm home free: I'll stay there for days at a stretch, the work pouring out of me like a flood. It's just getting to that point that's so difficult.

I read once that this is the "avoidance of confronting the self" phase of inspiration. I might agree with that, but I can't think about it right now. I have laundry to do.