The Gift

There's a Lowe's commercial in which the stereotyped "dumb white guy" speaks with a female Lowe's employee about what to get his wife for Christmas. After showing her power tools and lawn equipment, and receiving only vague disapproval, he decides on a gift card. She heartily approves...

I don't know about you, but I've never met a woman who asked for something from Lowe's, Home Depot, Builder's Emporium, or any hardware store. I mean, I'm pretty tomboyish and I like puttering around with tools and stuff, but I've never asked for anything like that, except, well, the power drill I never get. Every year. Oh, and the kids got me a tool kit one year and Nettl got me that set of electricians tools, and Ville got me a tool belt one year... Okay then, forget me. I'm not a good standard to measure by. But ask yourselves, guys, what would your lovely lady's reaction be if you gave her a Lowe's gift card for Christmas? Might be a good time to take your pillow and blanket out to the sofa.

The other commercials that bug me are the ones urging us to buy a Lexus for our loved one. A Lexus? If I could afford a gift like that, it would be for me! They're also peddling Cadillacs and some sports car that offers a two-for-one deal. I actually like that one though because of the box of tissues and paper bag detail. Clever. But my point is, most of us can't afford gifts like that, can we?

And of course, there's always my favorite beef this time of year (as well as Mothers and Valentines Days): the diamond commercials. I've already covered those here and here, so I won't repeat myself. Besides, after learning about the diamond slave trade, I don't buy into that propaganda anymore.

So here are a couple of questions for your Friday-before-Christmas:

If money were no object, what would you like for Christmas? What would you buy your favorite person? And none of those beauty pageant "world peace" answers, please. Be materialistic! Be indulgent!