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8.15.2007

How To...

Cook perfect rice
Cut a feather quill
Get rid of a cowlick
Use chopsticks
Remove wax from fabric
Waltz
Choose a cantaloupe
Enjoy a cigar (thanks RW)
Get out of a speeding ticket
Clap at a classical concert

13 comments :

  1. Some of our Stillwater audiences need the "How to clap at a classical concert" advice. It's embarrassing to attend a concert where people don't know when it is and isn't appropriate to applaud.

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  2. Oh, and I LOVE the nun. Ooooh baby! Hold me back!

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  3. Standing Ovations overdone. I wrote about it:
    http://goinglikesixty.com/?p=392

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  4. I agree. In fact, I refuse to give one unless the performance really merits it. Anymore, they've become obligatory and meaningless.

    I refuse, dammit!

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  5. The rice recipe is like the beginning of rice soubise, which involves wilting mirepoix (you can add garlic or other spices to increase flavor) in either butter, olive oil, or both then adding the rice to brown, then about half a cup of white wine (Vermouth works well if you have it around, but other dry whites are fine)then you add the hot stock and let it simmer for twenty minutes covered. This is the base for Moroccon rice, and Mexican Rice.

    Of course, this REALLY is the beginning of risotto, but that definately involves stock and adding it bit by bit, stirring only right after each 8 oz of stock is added. I love to make risotto.

    Rice is easy, just take 2 to one for long grain rice, or 11/2 to one for sushi rice, bring to a boil then turn to low for a low simmer, cover and steam for 20 minutes.


    If you want to see some standing ovations, come to atlanta. They're given at EVERY theatrical event. I absolutely refuse to give an unwarranted ovation. What the yokels don't realize is that it takes away from the truly noteworthy performances. What are you supposed to do then, have an organsm?

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  6. Oh, you want to reduce the wine or else the rice won't taste very good.

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  7. lol I think that's Sister Lourdes, my 4th grade nun! The one who told me I was no lady! Just 'cause I came to school with a big shiner from taking a hockey stick in the face in a "sandlot" ice hockey game with the guys.

    Love the list -- a lot to learn! lol
    Some of those things are becoming lost arts.

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  8. PSM: I think the mandatory standing ovation is a country-wide epidemic. I can promise you it doesn't happen in Europe.

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  9. It's annoying and I sometimes think that people are going to lynch us when we refuse to stand up. At Mama Mia, they had people going up and down the aisles to get you to stand. That's how they advertise "We'll have you dancing in the aisles!" Blech, what a crappy show that was, even though I love ABBA. Let 'em lynch me, I refuse to stand for the mediocre, or even the just good.

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  10. The ticket thing is bullshit, by the way. I think only pretty girls and good ol' boys get off on speeding tickets.

    I had a friend who once pleaded taht she'd started her period and din't have any tampons so she was trying to get home quickly. She added tears and was let off without even a warning. Of course, she was coming to our house for cocktails and movie night back in VTA.

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  11. It was only one instance but the ticket thing failed me also. I was highly cooperative with the cop, gave no excuses, provided total honesty and self-accountability. All it did was piss him off! I think because he either didn't know how to handle it or wanted the usual scenario as justification to impose his authority. Either way, it was funny as hell, he was actually stuttering trying to formulate his responses LOL!

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  12. u9: It's because he was a Kansas cop.

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  13. It's been more than one instance for me. My parents taught me to be polite to cops, so I am. It doesn't matter, plus you're right about them wanting to use their authority sometimes. About 12 years ago, I received tickets coming and going from an overnight trip to set up my disabled aunt's christmas tree. She lived 300 miles away. Anyway, I politely said this to the cop, in explanation for why I had two dogs in the car with me also. No go, got the tickets and shitty treatment, as well.

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