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1.24.2008

Things I Just Don't Understand

There are some things in this world that I just don't get. Sure, dark matter and undulating membranes are up there on my list, but they don't make me wag my head in utter disbelief. What I'm talking about is mainly people stuff. We're a fascinating species, full of paradoxes and possibilities, and I believe that even we don't get us. Here are a few of the things I don't understand. Some of them have to do with human nature itself and some have to do with the situations we create. Feel free to comment on mine, or name a few of your own. But please, no Steven Wrightisms. Those have been hackneyed to death and have more to do with semantics than anything else...

  • Why do advertisers want us to believe that men are attracted to women with "buns of steel" and "6-pack abs"? Do men really like hard bodies on women?
  • Likewise, are men really attracted to boyish bodies on women, except for the fake, gigantic orb-like breasts? What's up with the boyish hips, emaciated limbs and grotesquely large boobs that look like two hard globes riveted to the upper torso?
  • Robert Kennedy's assassination. Where were the inquests? Why did that case go cold so quickly? Where's Oliver Stone on this one?
  • Why is pot illegal, but every other commercial on telly introduces some new pharmaceutical, shamelessly naming lymphoma, tuberculosis, coma, and "fatal occurrence" as side effects?
  • Why are young people so obsessed with being hairless all over?
  • What's really behind tattooing, piercing, tongue-splitting, embedded horns, etc., etc.? What's up with the trend of being the most shocking, the scariest, the loudest, the weirdest, the most disgusting, and most obnoxious looking creature on Earth? Will we ever get back our social graces? Hell, how about some balance?
  • Why do people treat everyone around them like crap, then are so surprised when it's done to them?
  • World War I.
  • Telemarketers. Do they make so many sales that it's actually justified?
  • Why is insurance legal? Why is it any different than organized crime? Why isn't some of our money refunded when we pass a year without reporting any claims and why are we required by law to carry auto insurance? How long will it be until we have to have proof of medical insurance, or get arrested?
  • Why are Americans so "icked out" by the bidet? It's certainly less "icky" than the hands-on method we use.
  • In the same vein, why are German toilets designed the way they are? Is it about examining their waste before they flush it down? Besides, it must be disgusting to clean. Use a bidet instead.
  • Why do we crave sleep and covet long, extended hours of it, but are afraid of death?
  • Why are people who are most afraid to die also those who are most afraid to live?
  • How can some intelligent, educated people, especially university professors with Ph.D.s, believe in literal creationism, virgin birth, the Rapture, and physical resurrection?
  • Why is it that religious people look forward to praising God and singing hymns endlessly throughout all eternity the same people who can't sit through one hour of church one day a week without nodding off? Is this really their idea of heaven? Sounds like a living hell to me.
  • Why is being crowded in a hot car for hours on end for two weeks (usually arguing) with people we normally only spend an hour with each day called a family vacation? Why do people work all year for this?
  • Censorship. As George Carlin said, when you're on television, you can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick. The censors aren't censoring words, they're censoring ideas while trying to make you think it's the words they don't like. Likewise, why, on certain channels, do they overlook, say, ass, but bleep out shit? Or allow bitch, but take out bastard? And why do they leave in the ass, but bleep the hole?
Help yourself.

15 comments :

  1. I agree with everything, except one. Auto insurance is there to protect "the other guy". The law says you have to carry liability insurance. If you hit someone, then your insurance company will cover her\his expenses. Believe me, if it was the other way around, you would want the other driver to be insured.


    WV: wwinkis. LOL

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  2. Then we should get some of our money refunded at the end of each year if we haven't filed any claims. Allstate is doing that now and I think it's a great incentive.

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  3. Yeah, I agree. You can use your premiums as a deduction on your taxes, but that only applies to folks that have to file.

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  4. * Why do advertisers want us to believe that men are attracted to women with "buns of steel" and "6-pack abs"? Do men really like "hard bodies" on women?

    Psychologists have proven that just the opposite is true. In fact, studies have shown that men will go for heavier women with hour glass figures than thinner ones with little or no shape, in most cases. It's about symmetry and balance to the male eye.

    * Likewise, are men really attracted to boyish bodies on women, except for the fake, gigantic breasts? What's up with the boyish hips, emaciated limbs and grotesquely large boobs that look like two hard globes riveted to the upper torso?

    I don't think that the average male is at all attracted to that. I'm not sure what is a up with that or who invented it, but I think that it probably had its advent with the Barbie Doll. Personally I think it's gross.

    * Robert Kennedy's assassination. Where were the inquests? Why did that case go cold so quickly? Where's Oliver Stone on this one?

    I haven't a clue.

    * Why is pot illegal, but every other commercial on TV introduces some new pharmaceutical, shamelessly naming lymphoma, tuberculosis, coma and "fatal occurrence" as side effects?

    It's about the almighty buck!

    * Why are young people so obsessed with being hairless all over?

    I think that's all about pedophilia. Hairless children having sex.

    * What's really behind tattooing, piercing, tongue-splitting, embedded horns, etc etc? What's up with the trend of being the most shocking, the scariest, the loudest, the weirdest, the most disgusting? Will we ever get back our social graces? Hell, how about some balance?

    I think this has its roots in the current generations' collective rage over being ignored. Placed in daycare from the time they were six weeks old, they have had to learn to scream the loudest and longest to get attention. It goes back to the old adage, "The squeaky wheel gets the greasin' ".

    * Why do people treat everyone around them like crap and then are so surprised when it's done to them?

    Again, it goes back to survival. Children whose needs are not met grow into adults who don't know how to be considerate to others.

    * World War I.

    I don't think that historians even understand this one.

    * Telemarketers. Do they make so many sales that it's actually justified?

    They must, or the practice would have ended years ago.

    * Why is insurance legal? Why is it any different than organized crime? Why isn't some of our money refunded when we pass a year without reporting any claims? And why are we required by law to carry auto insurance? How long will it be until we have to have proof of medical insurance or get arrested?

    I can see where in many cases insurance is needed and warranted, but I have never agreed that it should be mandatory. And if the government requires it, then I think that the government should offer it at a lower cost than private insurance.

    * Why are Americans so "icked out" by the bidet? It's certainly more hygienic than the method we use.

    Because it's different.

    * In the same vein, why are German toilets designed the way they are?

    I don't remember how they were designed. Refresh me.

    * Why do we crave sleep and covet long, extended hours of it, but are afraid of death?

    I'm really not afraid of death itself--only the possible means by which I might die.

    * Why are people who are most afraid to die also those who are most afraid to live?

    I think fear of death as well as fear of life has its roots firmly planted in religion.

    * How can some intelligent, educated people, especially university professors with Ph.D.s, believe in literal creationism, virgin birth and physical resurrection?

    I really don't understand this either.

    * Why is it that religious people look forward to praising God and singing hymns throughout all eternity the same people who can't sit through one hour of church one day a week, without nodding off? Is this really their idea of heaven?

    No, this is what they've been told heaven is and that they're supposed to look forward to it, so rather than think for themselves, they go with the herd.

    * Why is being crowded in a hot car for hours on end for two weeks (usually arguing) with people we normally only spend an hour with each day called a "family vacation"? Why do people work all year for this?

    Not my idea of the ideal vacation.

    * Censorship. As George Carlin said, when you're on television, you can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick. The censors aren't censoring words, they're censoring ideas while trying to make you think it's the words they don't like. Likewise, why, on certain channels, do they overlook, say, "ass", but bleep out "shit"? Or allow "bitch", but take out "bastard"? And why do they leave in "ass" but bleep "hole"?

    Don't understand this one either.

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  5. Just a few responses:

    Re: Bobby Kennedy's assassination -- (You had to know I'd post about that!) The reason there were no inquests is that there was no doubt as to who did it. Rosie Grier tackled Sirhan to the ground while Sirhan still had the gun in his hand. As for Oliver Stone, there is a movie about Bobby's murder. It's called "Bobby." Odd movie, but very good.

    Insurance is gambling. You're gambling that something bad will happen to you before you spend the same amount on the insurance that the insurance would pay out.

    I was just talking about WWI the other day. We couldn't figure it out, either.

    When I was in Germany, I noticed that no two toilets that I encountered worked the same way.

    Just yesterday I was looking at an old topic on my website where we were talking about censorship. Interestingly enough, it's not the government that puts bleeps in. It's the networks, usually because they're afraid that the advertisers won't like it. (That's why they can say anything on the premium channels. No advertisers.) The FCC does investigate complaints and occasionally imposes fines, but those are usually for the very worst infractions. There is a web page with examples of things that have brought fines. It's pretty rough.

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  6. Why is it that religious people look forward to praising God and singing hymns throughout all eternity the same people who can't sit through one hour of church one day a week, without nodding off? Is this really their idea of heaven?


    These people don't really believe in heaven, they pretend they do because it is the only idea they can conjur up in their narrow little minds that gives their meaningless little lives, some
    meaning.


    As far as the insurance thing is concerned (OK OK, I know you want me to shut up). I think what we all seem to forget, is driving is not a right, it's a priviledge.

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  7. Driving may be a privilege, but in this part of the country, where there isn't an abundance of public transportation, there aren't too many options. It's a necessity here.

    I still believe that if the government is going to require insurance, (of any kind), that it should offer a low cost, government sponsored plan. In fact, I just read where the AMA, (American Medical Association), is lobbying to make it against the law to be without health insurance. That's fine. But if we do that, then they sure as hell better offer us some kind of government sponsored low-cost health plan so that we don't have to give the private insurance companies the food out of our mouths to pay for it.

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  8. Separation of Church and State, separation of Big Business and State...

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  9. On second thought, no, I don't believe driving is a privilege. It's a right I have earned through:
    a. learning the law and passing the driver's exam

    b. following and observing the law and being a safe driver

    And furthermore, I have NO tickets or accidents on my driving record. I have a perfect record and have had one since I first obtained my license when I was sixteen. I should be rewarded for that.

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  10. I have a couple of things I don't understand....

    Why are Grape-Nuts called that? They are not made of grapes. For that matter, where did the name grapefruit come from?

    Why do men spit? Not all men, of course. But women don't spit. Just men. Why?

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  11. From Wikipedia:
    Neither grapes nor nuts have ever been ingredients in the cereal. The original formula for Grape-Nuts called for grape sugar, which is composed mostly of glucose unlike most other sugar sources and food sweeteners which are principally sucrose. This, combined with the "nutty" flavor of the cereal inspired its name. But some employees at Post claim that the cereal got its name because the tiny nuggets resemble grape seeds or grape "nuts".

    I don't know why men spit, but it seems to me there's an addictive quality to it -- a habit. As far as I've heard, men don't produce any more mucus than women do, so yeah, why DO they spit?

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  12. Thanks! I found out about grapefruit, too. It seems that they grow in bunches on the trees, rather like grapes. Great big honkin' grapes!!!

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  13. I didn't know that! Now explain eggplant!

    8^D

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  14. I found it at worldwidewords.org:

    This curious comestible (actually a fruit, but eaten as a vegetable) probably has more names in varieties of the English language than any other. That’s because it has been cultivated for a very long time and it has been widely transmitted across the world from its heartland in eastern and southern Asia (the Arabs introduced it to Spain from India as early as the eighth century AD, and the Persians took it to Africa).

    The name of eggplant was given it by Europeans in the middle of the eighteenth century because the variety they knew had fruits that were the shape and size of goose eggs. That variety also had fruits that are a whitish or yellowish colour rather than the wine purple that is more familiar to us nowadays. So the sort they knew really did look as though it had fruits like eggs.


    Ya learn something new every day!

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  15. the white variety. That makes perfect sense. I have always been able to count on you to explain things to me.

    Thanks!

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