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10.06.2008

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"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."
Shirley MacLaine


I don't know about you, but in my life I've noticed that things have to reach a fevered pitch--or perhaps a nadir--before I finally see what's going on. Perhaps it was the doubling of my meds over the weekend that brought me to that place where negativity is concerned. In the vortex of chaos and illness with which the drug hammers my brain, I'm unable to cope with negative input of any kind. I feel like a panicked cat in a rainstorm, hanging upside-down by its claws from a weak and cracking tree branch that's giving way from the tension. Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

The Recession, our own financial crisis, the presidential campaign and its imagined outcome, the kids' dad, conspiracy theories, lack of clients, the news, worrying about the ability too buy groceries, even the cat bringing dead things into the house all contribute to the negative energy that has pervaded my daily life. I have to say no to all of it. Negativity cripples the human spirit and never creates anything positive.

"(In 1978) There wasn't an internet to tell you how screwed up everything
was every ten minutes and there was no such thing as 24-hour news."
RW

I never experienced this kind of negativity in myself until I got involved with my last relationship. I met a wounded young woman who'd had a terrible upbringing and I mistakenly thought that love was enough to heal that. Look what I've come through, I told myself. Unfortunately, her negativity crept into my own heart and I've not been able to completely excise it, no matter what I do. I find myself wordlessly criticizing others, picking things and people apart in my mind. I never did that before. Every day of my life is filled with me telling myself to stop; I'm constantly checking myself, which is exhausting. But maybe that's a kind of negativity as well. Maybe what I need to do is simply love, replace each negative thought with a positive one. Maybe scolding myself is taking the wrong tack.

“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”
Luke 6:37

Negativity sucks energy, plain and simple. I've decided that I'm going to commit myself at the beginning of each day to finding something positive in myself and in others throughout the day. I'm going to have to steer clear of the news. I'm a Libra--a September Libra at that--and watching the news has always depressed me. Even in the Sixties I was more the Flower Child than the Hippie. While everyone else was out marching with their fist in the air, I was inside wrapped in an incense cloud writing songs about love and sunny days. Nettl enjoys keeping up with current events and isn't dragged down into depression from it, so when she watches the news in the evening, I'm going to read, or write, or pop in a PC game. If I feel the need to know what's going on, I'll watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Those are more my speed because they present the news with a sense of humor that softens the blow for me.

"Sensitive souls draw in the negativity of others because they are so open."
John Gray

So beginning today I'm saying NO to negativity. I'm picking up again the "No NAR" philosophy that I had before 1996 when I allowed negativity to take root in me. This is not to say that I'll be bottling things up and stuffing them down, I'm simply not going to dwell on negativity. It's all about balance.

"The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous."
David Icke

How do you combat negativity? Do you have any tips or advice?

17 comments :

  1. I agree ... but, wow, you picked a tough time to want to bail on negativity.

    If you pull it off I think there's a best seller's spot for your how-to book.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't really "handle" negativity.

    But when it comes I wind up getting really angry. Then I realize how foolish it is to get angry over stuff like that and I kinda laugh at myself.

    Booze helps too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The thing is, for Steph, negativity could mean death. Literally. Her body cannot handle it. Her thyroid reacts adversly to it.

    So we have to remain as upbeat as possible and take life as it comes. That's all we can do right now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have a few tactics, mainly because I can be one of those "my own worst enemy" types and I need to stop beating up on myself:

    1. I make stuff. I knit, crochet, and quilt. Even if it's just making something small - or even if it's just doing a bit of something bigger. It makes me feel better, like I'm in control.

    2. I do something for someone else. Help out at a food bank, visit someone who's sick, offer to do something to help. That way, I feel like even if stuff sucks around me, I personally am not contributing to the suck.

    3. The one-inch-square window (as Anne Lamott says). Find something I can do, I can deal with, and focus on it. Even if it's just cleaning off my desk. (Weeding the garden is great for this). Some kind of simple directed task where things look better when they're done.

    4. Turn off the damn tv/radio/internet sites that preach gloom. Don't let it in my head. Make an effort not to think about it. Think about, instead, all the stuff I have to be grateful for.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Steph - you wrote the exact things I've been feeling/thinking for some time now. I know the mind- and body-sapping effect of all the negativity floating around right now, whether in one's personal space or the world at large. I, too, have been dragged down by it all. Just when I feel I've whipped it, it rears its very ugly and draining head(s). My best way of dealing with it is to go out into nature. I do what's called "walking meditation", focusing on the perfect beauty of a small wildflower peeking through the forest duff, or the perfect music of birdsong. It's the only way I can cope. Like you, I have a thyroid condition and I know the effects of medication. Try finding some quiet natural area and let yourself be absorbed into it for a while. It does help. Good thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's when I pray. I know I know - uncool, prosaic, doesn't seem to fit my personality. Whatever. I revert to my Quaker foundation. There is the Light in everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I go there, too, RW. Sometimes it's just hard to leave those Christian roots, especially when they're planted so deeply. But the difference is that now when I pray, my prayers do feel as if they're getting further than just the ceiling because my view of god and universe has expanded so much over the last several years.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It really helps for me to see something coming into being in my hands. Writing programs is nice and gives a sense of accomplishment, but not to the level of being able to hold in my hands something that previously did not exist and now it does.

    Also, I'm really good at sticking my head in the sand.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Negative karma is a deadly thing. And contagious, too. I fight it every day. Blogging helps me a lot. No nightly news. (I stopped watching about a month ago and it has really helped.) Oh...and silly things...like cyber parties.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't fight it...let it be there in my mind for a while...in the end i get tired of it and I scold myself.
    er...ok..may be it sounds weird but if i'm on my own i jump and i say loudly : "ok now that's enough!!"
    Laughing at myself is also super liberating !

    ReplyDelete
  11. Willow, your cyber party was a WONDERFUL diversion! I can't wait until the Halloween party!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well.

    Here's a tip.

    If you have negative thoughts and tell them to stop you are fighting them. So stop fighting. Fighting things makes them stronger.

    Just breathe. Lay down and breathe in and out. Let your chest, lower ribs and belly rise up and down at the same time.

    Repeat until you are satisfied.

    (sorry for being all pushy here, just giving some tips)

    :)

    Mrs. Hall

    ReplyDelete
  13. Create a wall of happiness. Put up things there that are good and supportive things. Accomplishments, pictures of bunnies. When you feel the negativeness seeping in, go to the wall or picture it in your mind. Or sing happy songs in your head.

    Then look back at what you were doing, break it down into small pieces and as you accomplish each small part, smile!

    Smiles help more than I ever thought.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. When I stopped listening/watching the news that made a huge difference to me, but if I do feel negativity creaping up on me I do one or all of these four things.
    1. Check out some of the upbeat inspiring blogs I like to read.

    2. Go visit my godsons (twins 19 months) they always provide me with plenty to laugh about.

    3. Escape to Little Bay, it is a quite secluded beach that is not freqented my many people, there I read, write my next blog post or simply sit and stare at the sea, a visit to this beach always lifts my spirit.

    4. Watch the DVD The Secret for some reason it makes me feel like no matter what is happening around me some how everything will be ok.

    Basically you must do what ever you can think of that is enjoyable anything that makes you laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't fight it...let it be there in my mind for a while...in the end i get tired of it and I scold myself.
    er...ok..may be it sounds weird but if i'm on my own i jump and i say loudly : "ok now that's enough!!"
    Laughing at myself is also super liberating !

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well.

    Here's a tip.

    If you have negative thoughts and tell them to stop you are fighting them. So stop fighting. Fighting things makes them stronger.

    Just breathe. Lay down and breathe in and out. Let your chest, lower ribs and belly rise up and down at the same time.

    Repeat until you are satisfied.

    (sorry for being all pushy here, just giving some tips)

    :)

    Mrs. Hall

    ReplyDelete
  17. Willow, your cyber party was a WONDERFUL diversion! I can't wait until the Halloween party!

    ReplyDelete

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