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2.14.2008

Happy Valentine's Day: How to Love

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving. Love is the continual act of unconditionally putting the needs of others before your own.


1. Say it.
When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

2. Empathize.
Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally.
If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, of allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

4. Expect nothing in return.
That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

5. Realize it can be lost.
If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.

It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.

From WikiHow
I love you, Nettl!

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