Snigature

Well, tonight we began un-decorating our house. We’ll finish tomorrow. Christmas is over and it’s time to pack up the Baroque angels, the golden music instrument ornaments, and the gold glitter curly weird, and put them all back out in the garage. It’s always kind of sad, and the living room always looks a little bare when things are put back to normal, but we’ve decided to keep Yo-Yo (our Betta) and his tank back here in our bedroom. I like the way we watches me as I sit here at my computer.
Of course, this means that now I have to go out and take down the Christmas lights that I procrastinated putting up for so long...



Back in the early ’80s there was a show on the brand new HBO called, Not Necessarily the News, on which there was a segment called Sniglets that was hosted by Rich Hall. I remember only a few of these Sniglets, but my favorite was “NERKEL” (ner - kul). A Nerkle is someone who leaves their Christmas lights up all year. I am not a Nerkel. Here are some more Sniglets that I remember:

• Nevitts ( neh - itz) : The sandpaper-like bumps on cats’ tongues.
• Stroodle (stroo - duhl) : The long string of scalding hot cheese that always burns your mouth when you take a bite of pizza. An extra long one was an Executive Stroodle.
• Polarind (po - la- rynd) : That thing you used to peel off of a Polaroid snapshot.

And here are a couple that my friends and I invented years ago:

• Spleeb (just like it looks) : That irritating squeaking noise that sneakers make on wood or vinyl floors.
• Bevemirage (bev - a - mir - ahj) : That dark plastic bottom on the big coke bottles that makes you think there’s some left when there isn’t.
• Jemimites (Ja- my - mites) : Those little round splatters you get on the griddle when you make pancakes.

Okay. I think it’s time to go get some pedaeration.*
* (ped - air - ay - shun) :
Perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.