Whichever Comes First

Lord, have mercy. You just never know how much whining, bitching, inane, pointless drivel you can come up with until you start going through 12 years of blog posts one-by-one. What's worse is that you don't just come up with it. Nooo... That's not enough. You have to go and lay it out on the Web for the world to read until the end of time, or until Blogger folds and is no more, whichever comes first...

On the Writing of a Memoir

I'm writing A Polite Little Madness in a way that I've never written before and I find the change energizing. Besides the writing style, or "voice" (which I'll get to in a minute), I'm using an entirely different approach as well as a different discipline, for want of a better word. The reason for this is, well, there was no real conscious reason, the book created its own voice, structure, and technique. During the note-taking phase, I realized I was employing virtually nothing of my past writing tools. This was new territory and I have to tell you, I dug it. I'm still digging it.

9 Weeks

My hiatus from blogging didn't last as long as I thought it would. I thought I'd return in six months or a year, if I returned at all. But a lot happened in that short 9 weeks. I guess I simply was ready for something different, because all of the important changes took only about two weeks. Looking back, I'm amazed at how quickly and easily everything fell into place.

First of all, I had to get my health under control. I finally reached a point where I was sick to death of being sick and, well, waiting for death. I quit identifying with this disease and focusing on it so much. I left the different online groups that are dedicated to it and I quit thinking and talking about it so much. Instead, I focused on being creative via poetry, journaling, photography, and a new book.

What set this into motion was that I was rushed to the hospital with what Nettl and I thought was a stroke. Fortunately, it wasn't, but my blood pressure was dangerously high and erratic. Because I have no health insurance and cannot work out in the world, I qualified for a program through which all of my medical care, hospital costs, tests, etc., are now covered 100%. It required that I do the usual paperwork, but I soldiered on through and got it done. I was determined to change my life.

Then, a massage therapist offered to give me regular treatments in exchange for a website and ongoing maintenance. She specializes in treating chronic illness and the elderly and also does energy and chakra work as well as personal counseling. What we've accomplished together is nothing short of miraculous. I'm completely off the narcotic pain killers and now take only my thyroid med and one anti-inflammatory every day, which means my prescription bills have gone down to just $45 a month. But the main thing is that I'm pain-free. I don't even take Ibuprofen. I'm active, cheerful, and most importantly, I no longer feel ill. Of course, I've had to make some grownup lifestyle changes, mostly having to do with diet and pacing myself, physically, but it's well worth it. I'll never go back.

So I guess giving up blogging for a couple of months was a good idea. I'm now ready to get back into it. Facebook doesn't offer anything where real writing is concerned; outside of the Notes feature, there's nowhere for me to write like I've always done here.

I'm looking forward to posting my thoughts this autumn and winter.

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Photo: "Gash" Copyright © SK Waller, 2014