You Might Be Famous When...

Sixties folk singer Arlo Guthrie said that you know you’re famous when your name turns up in crossword puzzles. Here is another clue that you might be famous.

Morning Summation

THE GOOD: Bob sings Mozart’s part in a performance of “Please Don’t Play Your Violin at Night.” (To the tune of Eine kleine Nachtmusik):

Beethoven:
Please don’t play your violin at night.
Wolfgang go to bed, turn out the light!

Mozart:
But I must play my violin,
At night my violin;
Must be beneath my chin.
I love the music of the night
I won’t turn out the light.
Oh, I love music in the night.

Beethoven:
But the music so late at night
Makes it quite hard to go to asleep, asleep.

Mozart:
But the music that I play at night is light.
Maybe you should try counting sheep!
Try counting sheep, it will help you sleep!

Beethoven:
Sheep will never help me sleep!

Mozart:
You should try counting sheep!

Beethoven:
No, sheep won’t help me sleep!
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.

Mozart:
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep!

Beethoven:
Sheep won’t help me sleep!
Won’t help me sleep!

THE BAD: Privacy

AND THE UGLY: Help me!!!

Blame Monty

It’s her fault that you have to deal with yet another meme.

1. Hum a jingle to which you know all the words:
I’m with Monty. If I know the words, why do I have to hum it? Anyway, here’s the jingle:

Meow meow meow meow,
Meow meow meow meow;
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow,
Meow meow meow meow;
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow,
Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow;
Meow meow meow meow meow.
Me-ow!

2. As a kid, you played a board game over and over. And you cheated, you little bastard. What was the game?
Cheat!? I didn’t cheat. I was smarter than the other kids and didn’t have to cheat! And it pissed me off when someone else did. I always ratted on them too. Bet I’m the egg-headed kid you all hated!

3. What is the name of the song that you’ve been singing the incorrect words all these years? What were you singing? What should you have been singing?
Monty and I have the same song. Cool! Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. Here’s what I thought he said:

Wasted away in Margaritaville, searching for my outlaw shaker of salt.

But what he actually says is:

Wasted away in Margaritaville, searching for my long-lost shaker of salt.

4. What is the most embarrassing childhood story that your parents drag(ged) out just to fuck with you for their own private amusement?
My mother used to love to tell people about the time when I was five, and my uncle was wrestling with me. I kept saying I had to pee (tickling did that to me). He wouldn’t stop, and I hated being tickled, so I peed all over him.