I don't handle negativity very well. I can be happy as can be, smiling, enjoying my day-at-a-time existence, but the minute someone starts talking about how pissed off they or, or what's wrong with the world, or how bad they feel, I get sucked right into it.
The first clue is that I get angry. Not raving mad, but just unsettled in the little place that was happy before they opened their mouth. Something in me just sort of wilts and I start looking for ways to get away from them. If I can't do that, I simply tune them out, one of the Waller gene pool's many talents.
That's why, on Facebook, I've hidden people who post nothing but stuff about politics, religion, environmental concerns, veganism, etc. They're still on my friends list, but I don't have to see their constant ranting. I just can't handle it, even if it's flavored with enough positivity to make people think they're not actually being negative. This is also why several months ago I announced that I'd no longer make political or religious posts in Facebook, or comment on those of other people. And come on, it's just so much pontificating and preaching to the choir anyway, isn't it?
I understand social consciousness. I'm from the Sixties for crying out loud. But to tell the truth, I've had my fist up in the air for so long, my arm's about to fall off. I know the planet's in trouble. I know about the rising tide of corporate feudalism. I know that everyone has been thought of and treated unfairly in some part of the world, at some time in history. I know that Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and others of their ilk are morons who are poisoning America. I know that Hitler was bad and I know that Marie Antoinette never said, "Let them eat cake". I know that Lynette and I are considered little more that second-class citizens to some people and that other people believe we deserve to die cruel, miserable deaths, and I know that the economy is the worst it's been since the Great Depression. I know all of this stuff, but I don't have to, nor will I, allow it to steal what little happiness I've been able to scrape up for myself, so leave me alone, alright? Quit pissing on my parade and understand that unless you have something nice to say, I really wish you'd just shut the hell up.
All this is not to say that an occasional conversation about what's wrong isn't okay. I just don't like it to be the only conversation. I've always hated talking politics and religion. That's why I didn't fit in very well into that part of the Sixties. While everyone else was chanting protest songs, there I was, singing Donovan ballads.
I've battled depression my entire life, but although I've gotten a pretty good handle on it, my daily life is a constant struggle with my own negative thoughts, fears, and worries. I work hard at it. I meditate and I always look for the good around me. When people start talking about what's wrong with the world it just triples my workload, which means that once they're gone, I have to start rolling that peanut uphill with my nose all over again. It's exhausting.
Look, the bottom line is that this stuff simply lessens my happiness. It makes me angry and opinionated and discontented, and I don't have so much life left to me that I want to spend it feeling like that. That's all. If you enjoy marching around with your fist in the air that's fine. Go for it. Just don't bring your parade up my street.
