Got My Mojo Back

I know I'm posting every day, but y'all are going to have to forgive me if my posts aren't, well, what they usually are. You see, I got my mojo back and I can't quit writing on my screenplay. I promise this won't last very long (I know how these things go for me), so please bear with me for a few days. Meantime, here's something we can discuss: 25 things you wouldn't know, if not for movies:

  1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. This goes along with the fact that if a serial killer is going to get you, ladies, it will be while you're in the shower.

  2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

  3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one baguette of French bread.

  4. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

  5. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving, or making love, or surviving the sinking of the Titanic.

  6. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

  7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

  8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

  9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

  10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

  11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

  12. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

  13. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

  14. Anyone waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

  15. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

  16. At night, all city streets are wet, as if it has just rained.

  17. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

  18. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

  19. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

  20. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

  21. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

  22. Most musical instruments - especially wind instruments and guitars - can be played without moving the fingers.

  23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

  24. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

  25. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.