I know I'm posting every day, but y'all are going to have to forgive me if my posts aren't, well, what they usually are. You see, I got my mojo back and I can't quit writing on my screenplay. I promise this won't last very long (I know how these things go for me), so please bear with me for a few days. Meantime, here's something we can discuss: 25 things you wouldn't know, if not for movies:
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. This goes along with the fact that if a serial killer is going to get you, ladies, it will be while you're in the shower.
- All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.
- All grocery shopping bags contain at least one baguette of French bread.
- It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving, or making love, or surviving the sinking of the Titanic.
- The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
- Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
- Anyone waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- At night, all city streets are wet, as if it has just rained.
- Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
- If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
- Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.
- Most musical instruments - especially wind instruments and guitars - can be played without moving the fingers.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
- It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
