Dad died in May of 1993. Since then, there hasn't been a single day that I have not thought about him, or missed him.Today (yesterday to diurnal people), when the crisis came up about the car situation, I quietly reached the end of what I can handle, feeling like I was in quicksand with no one to offer me a branch. In a fraction of a second two thoughts went through my mind: 1) I need to call Dad and, 2) I can't call Dad. Then it occurred to me that I could write to him.
When you're in quicksand up to your chin, you'll try anything.
I opened up MS Word and let it pour out. I told him about the situation and how we're on a slippery slope to hell if we don't get some help soon. I confessed sins. I apologized. In short, I wrote to him exactly as I did when he was still here. As I saved and closed the document, I got an instantaneous sense that it was a done deal. I felt total peace. Then I went back to work.
It wasn't three hours later that Nettl came home and we figured out a solution to the issue. A really GOOD solution. Maybe Dad didn't "make it so", but maybe—just maybe—he opened our minds a little so that we could figure out some possibilities for ourselves.
I've decided to continue writing Letters To Dad. He doesn't seem so far away now.
I never knew my dad. I envy you. But judging from what my mother's been through, I'm probably better off.
ReplyDeleteI love the quote on your sidebar. Very appropriate for what we've just been through.
ReplyDeleteILD!
Alan: Not all Dad's are like Steph's. I can't go to my dad when I'm troubled or in need of help. I never have been able to. Theirs is a very special relationship that I can only dream of.
It's always good to find a way to cope with things better. :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you for trying something different! I might just have to follow your action...
apparently that makes 3 of us who cant count on our dads...but I can't say I don't know mine- I do, and I know him so well it aggravates me.
ReplyDeletesteph, I think writing to your dad is a great idea! Maybe I'll do that with my stepdad who passed away several years ago..I too could talk to him.
What an inspirational tribute to your dad, Steph.
ReplyDeleteMy dad, like yours, was my rock on whom I leaned in times of trouble; my mom was the rock that would crush me.
I think this is a wonderful idea.
ReplyDeleteWriting is good. But I sort of point things out to Mom, to Dad, that they liked, to form a bridge, to not forget.
ReplyDeleteLyn
I wish that I had that kind of relationship with my dad; thank God I had it with my husband.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that when you get into your *conversations with dad* mode, you relax and open up and allow for ideas to connect. He was a kind of glue for your thoughts as well as for your heart
Well.. better stated: When you think about him you seem to get to where you can put things together for a solution. Like Smart Glue.
~Lorna
Inspired and inspiring idea, Steph.
ReplyDeleteMy dad is gone but I still catch a glimpse of him. Both my stepmother and I swear he's stalking us. Three psychics have told me that he's watching and is worried about me. I can appreciate that but wonder why he didn't save me from my nutty mother. Worry is fine but help would help.
ReplyDeletethat is absolutely beautiful... it moved me.
ReplyDeleteMay your Dad be always close to you,
ReplyDeleteespecially in times of need!
I lost mine way too young and miss him every day.
My mum died 18 years ago...actually, I am the last of my family. I figure that when I moved out of home, they were all absent in some way and now that they have died we just inhabit different spaces - so I still regard them as present somewhere......if that makes sense!
ReplyDeleteIf I need a car parking space, or something to fit in a space, or something specific to happen - I just ask 'Mother' and it usually works out. So much so, that within my circle of friends, 'Mother is a legend' as they have seen the results and they often call on her or thank her if something extremely coincidental happens.
I think writing "Letters To Dad" is a good idea.
I wonder if it is actually 'Mother' who helps, in my case - or one of the others.....needless to say, I am happy for all the help I can get - moreover I am quite looking forward to finding out for myself one day...If I get to see any of them - wherever they have gone to.
It's a good thing to do. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteMy dad died in 1993 also and I too miss him every day. I know just how you feel. When times get really tough, I just talk to him (not out loud of course, don't want folks to think I'm crazy!). Yes, it helps. My sister and I know he still has a hand in a lot that goes on in our lives. Keep writing to him - he's listening!
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