One of the reasons I don't "believe" in suicide (don't worry, I've never been a suicidal person) is because just when things seem their very darkest, another morning dawns and it all turns around. The worst day turns into the best day and I'm back singing, "A Shine on Your Shoes" again. Such was my last couple of days. From bleak and utter despair I was lifted out into the contentment that I've gotten used to since we moved into the cottage. I know that I shouldn't let things get me down, but hey, I'm a musician and a writer... I'm thenthative that way...One of my clients, a professor in the music department at the university, called me around noon, asking if I could meet him in his office at 3:30. No problem. I spent about an hour and a half with him, discussing four web jobs while the chamber orchestra rehearsed next door. It was squeak-fart music, but it was live. And if felt good being back in music professor's dark, tweedy office. While he was on the phone, I sat, looking around me. Books, music scores, baton cases... it took me back to the years I spent with Frank. Not a bad little stroll down Memory Lane, and one that will pay!
5 comments:
After several minutes of reading it, I finally figure out what "thenthative" was! haha When I first saw the word, I thought it was "tentative", using the German pronunciation of the "th".
Geez, do I need coffee!! I haven't had any yet today.
By the way, I'm SO glad things are looking up for you!
Thank you! ;^)
I am sure that you are not going to take your life, you are full of projects and eager to do new stuff, anyway to complete the information I would like to add:
Suicide was traditionally regarded very much as a kind of consequence of social factors. Émile Durkheim in France, in fact many others before him, had noticed the relationship of suicide to social changes involving people having been alienated from society and isolated and so on. But relatively recently it became more apparent that suicide was in fact related to major psychiatric disorders. This was done through psychological autopsies: that is, interviewing the families of people who had been unfortunate enough to die by suicide. It turned out that over 90 per cent of all suicides had a psychiatric disorder.
Bye bye
Maria: Thanks for the info. Suicide does run in our family, a consequence of bi-polar disorder. I've been around it my entire life (grandmother, aunt, husband, friend) so I know firsthand the ongoing damage it causes in families. That's one reason why I determined, at the age of 20 or so, that I would, under no circumstances, follow the unfortunate legacy for my children and loved ones to deal with.
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