I finally realized tonight why I like watching Lifetime movies: they're sterling examples of really bad screenwriting. Sure, every now and then a good one will sneak in there, like See You in My Dreams, starring Marcia Gay Hardin and Aiden Quinn, but mostly, they're pieces o' crap with predictable plots and endings (see this entry). The worst part is, they're not even bad enough to become cult films. They're banal, and that's unforgivable.
This weekend, LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) broadcast something they called, "Into The Light", meaning the movies would be of a paranormal nature in honor of Halloween. Instead, they were the same old hack films that show women and children as victims. They call it "television for women", but the screenplays are really written for men, I suspect. I can deal with soft-slasher "porn", but seriously bad writing, plot points that lead nowhere, and subplots that are never resolved are another matter. I think watching these things should become part of every writing course offered to would-be authors, playwrights and screenwriters. They're really just dime store bodice-ripper paperbacks on film.
Watching these has become one of our favorite things to do on Sunday afternoons. Especially after a Saturday night party. They require zero concentration and cogitation, and one can nap through the first half and still pick up on the story in the last 30 minutes. Sometimes I'm tempted to write one, and then I realize that life's too short to write that kind of stuff, and too long to watch it.
Still, I do.
I never watch Lifetime. It's a pure waste of time for me. Then again, I don't watch much television other than "Law and Order reruns, TCM and Jack Cafferty. I've never been much for TV -- I'd rather read.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of the genre (horror, not Lifetime flicks), but the violence against women mantra gets a little old.
ReplyDeleteJoss Whedon (okay, he's a gay man) was tired of it as well. So he created Buffy, the Vampire Slayer with its message of female empowerment. The series finale is an absolute must-see!
This is cute! Yep, they air some pretty lame stuff. I'm afraid I would sleep through the entire movie and be happy I did.
ReplyDeleteThe only time I've watched anything on LMN is when James Marsters has been in a movie that was showing. That would be twice. :-)
ReplyDeleteI finally stopped reading some of the authors I liked because they seemed to get into the "woman in peril" thing just a bit too much. Dean Koontz comes immediately to mind.
Oh, and a little note to b. e. earl: I think it might come as quite a shock to his wife to hear that Joss Whedon is a gay man.
my god, i need to send my wife over to watch tv with you.
ReplyDeletei cannot STAND lifetime.. i always tell her that every movie she watches on it is either
a) woman with amnesia
b) woman wrongfully set up for murder
c) woman getting cheated on
sometimes you can mix and match those categories
True! I really don't like the movies, but sometimes I just need to veg out.
ReplyDeleteI'm so ashamed.
I'm not a fan of Lifetime myself. I've never been into chick flix of any kind.
ReplyDeleteI love sci-fi mostly,and period films. Anything set in the 16th to 18th century. And good comedy. There has not been good comedy in a very long time IMHO.
All these teen sexploits are just so ...ZZzzzzzz.
I love the original Pink Pather movies. Almost anything with Martin and Lewis. Gimme a good old fashioned Abbot and Costello.
Mel Brooks also has a hallowed place in the movie section of my heart.
Okay! I get it! I suuuuuuck!!!!
ReplyDelete;)
LOL!!! No, you don't suck!! You wouldn't believe what I watch every afternoon.
ReplyDeleteI don't watch a great deal of TV so Lifetime eludes me, but I can relate to the fluff. I'll often choose readable fluff for times when I need to just stop thinking.. or quickly pass some time (like on a long bus ride). Sometimes we just need a fluffy place to fall.
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