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10.02.2008

Today, I Choose Love

When you think about it, it's pretty obvious that there are only two emotions the human being feels. Of course, those two emotions manifest themselves through numerous other reactions that we mistakenly refer to as emotions.

There is love and the opposite of love, which is not hate, but fear. Love and fear. That's it. Every other emotion is merely a symptom of one of these. And really, boil these down and you have a very simple human conflict: "I matter" versus "I don't matter." Keep boiling and you finally come to "I exist" versus "I don't exist." How many times to we hear people say they feel invisible? It all goes back to "I am"...

There's a quote that states that the opposite of love is indifference, but I disagree. Indifference comes from fear, too. If we are indifferent, what are we afraid of? Of getting involved, of being hurt, of getting rebuffed, of not mattering, of not existing.

This is obviously a subject that other people are far more qualified to address than I am, but it has been on my mind for years. I first began analyzing emotion when I was dealing with my childhood abuse with the help of my gentle and insightful shrink, an incredible woman who literally changed my life by teaching me how to shrink myself.

That's all I wanted to say, really. Love and fear. Which am I acting from as I meet the challenges of another day?

I got up at 7:15 this morning to take Nettl to work because I have an appointment with the vampires today to get my THS levels checked. My thyroid has been acting up again and it's time for an adjustment of my Levoxyl. I only hope the change doesn't throw me into another storm. After my arm gets poked I'm going to Hastings to use a gift card I got for my birthday. Books or music? No idea what will catch my attention.