Christmas is always hard anymore, it seems, but this year I really cannot work up any Christmas Spirit at all. I haven't made anything, bought anything, done anything. Well, we put up the tree over the weekend, but that required a crock pot of mulled wine and a magnum of cheap champagne.Health is an issue, as well as depression and not having any money. Hard to do any of the things the season demands when you're bone dry of the green stuff. I'm expecting a check from a client, but it hasn't arrived yet and here we are four days away from Christmas Eve...
Mostly, it's an energy thing: I have none. Maybe it's time to see about getting on Paxil or something. Yeah. Like I could pay for that. Right now, with the social-political Darwinism that's taken hold, the poor of America are doomed to depression and destitution for lack of health care, lack of food, and lack of jobs while Wall Street gives itself a bonus of over $118 million. No compassion, no forgiveness. If you falter even the lightest bit, you deserve to perish. If it wasn't for the kindness of individuals, I'd probably be hugely suicidal right now. Not seriously, just in the deepest recesses of my mind where I sometimes hide away from the world.
At the same time I'm quick to add that we've experienced some incredible kindness from friends, and Christmas dinner has come entirely from Lynette's co-workers who value her role in in their office: gift cards from Walmart, desserts, etc., so I really can't complain. I'm hugely thankful and grateful, and I look forward to the day when I can finally be on the giving end for a change.
That's when I'll feel the Christmas Spirit again for, as good as receiving is, I'm really more of a giver.
End of Whinefest. Please pass the camembert.
