Family Counts

This is weird. Last night, Nathan spent the night with some of his dude friends out at Lake Carl Blackwell and Heather spent the night with her best friend, Kalin. Micah has gone to Kansas to take care of business following his father's death and Lauren isn't due home from France until Sunday. Joel was here, but he went to bed early and Nettl fell out fairly early herself after a hellacious day at work. I was... ALONE. I don't meant that I was left alone, I was actually alone.

A few of you have been reading me since I began blogging in 2002 and some of you have been around long enough to have learned that when I acquired this ready-made family of 7 (and at one time 8), I didn't think I could do it, or at least do it well. I've been a loner all of my life; I've always needed vast amounts of alone time, but when our two families got together, my alone time ended.

For a short while we all (6 minus Micah, plus Mom) lived in a 3-bedroom house. Our bedroom was actually a loft-like room with a big-huge opening into the downstairs. We also shared the master bath with Joel. Privacy --whether day or night time-- was non-existent. When we moved into this big house we got a bedroom with no interior windows, but our bathroom was the only one with a shower, so mornings up here resembled Grand Central Terminal with three teens getting ready to go to school. I didn't dare wake up and have to pee...

After my mother's death, we invited Micah to come stay with us while he got his recording career on track and I installed a shower head in his bathroom (the kids still have to use our shower). Then, last August, Lauren went off to study abroad for the better part of a year. Earlier, Nathan went to live with his father. (No wonder I always lose count around here.)

The past year has been pretty quiet and I've enjoyed a fair amount of alone time during the day. Then, suddenly, Heather graduated from high school and was home all day (she works at night) and Nathan came to spend the summer with us. It's nice having the chicks in the nest, so to speak, although we're one chick short for a few more days.

My point is, in the past four years I've grown to be really family-oriented, I guess, because last night felt soo wroong. There was NO one downstairs! I realized that I might as well turn the downstairs lights off (even the small lamp in the living room that helps them see when they go out to the kitchen or onto the veranda), and I didn't have to adjust Zone 1's thermostat. Also, I could turn off the outside lights and lock the door, because no one was going to be coming in after midnight. It was weird. I didn't like it very much.

Today, only Joel and I are here, but he'll be leaving soon for a dental appointment. Since moving into this house in the summer of 2004, I've been all alone here exactly one time. I used to be alone all the time before Nettl and I got together, but I hardly remember what that's like. Did I dance? Did I walk around naked? Did I play my piano and sing at the top of my lungs? What the hell did I do? No idea, but you can relax; today I'll just sit here and work. I'd better enjoy it though, because on next Monday morning EVERYone will be home. All 7 (or 8) of us.

I lose count.