I can't remember the last time I sat here at my desk with a glass of wine, in the mood to blog. I've been going to bed earlier lately, and if I am at a computer at night, it's usually my laptop because I can surf both the web and the TV channels at the same time. Lazy sod.But here I am with a glass or three of wine, listening to Radio Stephansdom through my headphones, enjoying Schubert's Mass in F-Major. God, I love being up late at night when everyone's asleep and the world is quiet! Tumbleweeds is closed, so the après-Jack Daniels crowd has already driven past, on their way home. Tumbleweeds is a huge Country-Western roadhouse-styled bar here in Stillwater (read "Urban Cowboy"), only a mile or so down the road, famous for their annual "Testicle Festival". I've never attended. Can't say I'm sorry.
Nettl rented La Vie en Rose, starring Marion Cotillard as the great Edith Piaf. I really like biopics regardless of how good or bad they are, so my estimation of this film may not agree with that of other people who have seen it. I liked it, but it was too choppy. Cotillard's performance was flawless, however. I swear she was channeling Piaf. I think I'm going to watch it again; this may be one of those films that will improve now that I know the story and won't have to work so hard to keep up with the subtitles (the dialog often passes very quickly and my French isn't what it used to be).I find myself once again in the uncomfortable position of not being able to tell you about something important that's going on in my life (like when our documentary was in its seminal stages, and when I was on location filming The Ocular Effect). It's my lawyer, you see. It involves a will and trying to keep my balance while waiting for the outcome. No matter what that will be, I want to be prepared and not lose my center. Good news? Great. Bad news? Oh well. This is almost impossible for me because I have no inner balance! We Libras (the Scales) are not balanced people, we're always searching for balance. A lot of people get that mixed up. Anyway, in the words of George Carlin:
"Could be meat, could be cake. Could be meatcake."
Whatever the fates have in store, I don't want to fall off my bike, as it were, and bung myself up.
Which brings me to something I was thinking about today. I was thinking about us bloggers. What the hell are we thinking? We sit in our private space and literally expose our thoughts, feelings and experiences to people all over the world. And some of this stuff will still be around long after we're sitting in that big Internet Cafe In The Sky. Who knows? These entries could show up hundreds of years from now. Well, I was thinking about why some of us live our lives in the public forum so candidly, and I came to the conclusion that we're trying to connect. I know that's true for me, anyway. Connecting with other people in hope of attaining a SETI-like connection with a kindred spirit or two is why I spill my guts here. This is on a sub-conscious level, of course. Consciously, all I think I'm doing is wasting time writing about ME, ME, ME! Then I wondered, would Henry Miller have blogged? Or Anaïs Nin, Mark Twain, Virginia Woolf, or Shakespeare? Hell, yeah! What blogs those would have been. Some writers I can't imagine blogging, though: Hemingway, Dylan Thomas (damn!) and George Sand. What about F. Scott Fitzgerald? Would he have kept a blog? What do you think? James Boswell, definitely, as well as Pepys. Oops. He has a blog.Do you know how wonderful it is to hear the Beautiful Blue Danube Waltz when it's being transmitted live from Vienna?
I have to tell you that I'm disgustingly out-of-shape. Wednesday's cleaning of #2 daughter's bedroom did me in. I spent all day Thursday feeling like I'd been on horseback; I was literally saddle sore. (I used to ride, so I know first-hand the misery that is saddle soreness.) I'm too young to be that old! Unfortunately, since being hit so hard with Hashimoto's Disease the past few years, my physical exercise has become non-existent. Well, I do trot up and down the stairs, but it's obviously been no help. The shit-thing about getting older is that you get tired. Seems to me life has it all bassackwards. We don't need energy when we're young, we're YOUNG, for crying out loud. We need that energy when we hit middle-age and are sliding into the abyss that waits yawning open for us. Kids need less energy so that they don't wear us old farts out, and old farts need more energy so that we can keep up. Sounds simple to me...
Well, I think that's it for tonight. I probably won't tell you a Saturday Story in the morning. But then again, who knows?
7 comments:
I like this one! It seems you just wrote whatever was floating around in your head, as random as your thoughts! I'm sorry you're not feeling well after the purging of the black hole. Hope you get feeling better! And speaking of French movies, I'm going to the ciné with my host sister and her friends tonight! I'm excited cause it'll be my first time to do so in France. Good luck with secret lawyer work! :D
"...the purging of the black hole."
LMAO! I feel fit as a fiddle now. Actually, the work was good for me.
I think you'd like the Piaf movie.
Love you!
Blogging for a connection...that could be very true. Sometimes I hope that should someone read the random thoughts I throw out for all the world to see, that maybe another person can see they are not alone in pain or that my thoughts could be a pearl of wisdom for someone else. In truth I started blogging to relieve stress and to express myself.
my brother and I were discussing this morning how, strangely, the net is starting to bring back the sense of 'community' that western culture has lost - I was telling him stories of how I found furniture on craigslist and would phone someone up who posted who I'd never met, yet we'd exchange stories of why we were buying/selling (eg house move, where we live, etc) - yes you have to be careful, but mostly, people are really nice and honest! It feels good to see that it still exists. Then I look at 'freecycle' and there are so many people just giving things away - sometimes nice furniture, etc!
ya, and then there's the business of writing your inner thoughts for all the world to read. and musicians being discovered from myspace. what an interesting era to live in.
As a parent I've often thought that kids would be a lot easier to raise if we were the ones with lots of energy and they got tired easily.
Boy, can I relate! I'm picking up the pieces from more than a decade of ill health (both physical and mental), during which the house got totally out of hand. Now, with my future plans of a move out West, I'm doing a massive clean-and-purge and boy, the aches and pains! I, too, am woefully out-of-shape, even though I get in a good long hike every week. I need to drop a good 60 pounds (where did those come from?!! Menopause joys!)
I thought I wrote this, but maybe I didn't. I think the web is a great place for all kinds of discource, whether political, social, banal. While it brings with it a certain sense of community, that is unique and, in a way, more interesting than anything before, I don't think it can replace a real neighborhood for establishing friendships and, for lack of another word, community. I live in such a neighborhood and I can say that my that part of my life has never been richer. Everything from parties, to conversations, to good friends, to communal charity funtions. We do it together, not because we are forced, or because there is a cruise director, but because of the architecture and spacial relations. This form of building, I think, will a lot of what has been missing for so long in our towns.
I'm ticked that I won't be seeing Piaf soon. The one thing that really gets me about my eyes is that I can no longer read sub-titles, even though our tv is the largest we've ever had. I might have to see if I can do so at the cinema where the shear size might cut down on the double vision effect.
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