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7.02.2011

You See, I Just Don't Care

That, of course does not apply to those of you whom I care about. What you think about me matters a great deal, but then you actually know me, so the opinion of anyone who's never met me won't matter to you. But seriously, where people in general are concerned, I just don't care.

Usually, when I hear someone say, "I don't care" I figure they actually care very much. In fact, I figure they care desperately, but don't wish to be vulnerable to the consequences of caring. I used to counteract that fear with stating that I care more than what is probably healthy. I owned up. I acknowledged my vulnerability...

But you know, we get older and all that changes. Other things become more important than what people on the internet think about us. Health, financial worries, family crises, personal disappointments, and all the good stuff too. Soon, what a handful of schmucks and losers behind their computer screens think about us becomes about as important as dog shit on a sidewalk: something to be stepped over and forgotten, not picked up and carried home.

I could make everything disappear in about an hour. I could take my sites down, remove my ethernet card and never come back. That's how important all this is in my Real World. You who think you have something on me, or who have set out to damage my reputation (whatever that is) would evaporate into the gaseous cloud you came from, never to be heard from again. I'm not famous and I'm not going to be famous. I'm nobody. I'm 60 years old and life is winding down. Besides, it's the internet we're talking about, and face it, no one cares about your beef with me. Least of all, me.

We'll all be in our graves soon enough. Ss this really how you want to live what's left of your life? In a few years, as you're lying on your death bed, you're going to regret all the time and energy you wasted on me. This is your life and, according to some people, you get only one. Think about it.

We become what we care about, so I turned my caring over to my friends and family. The internet, with its trolls and spiders and toadies, can stuff itself.

I just don't care.