My Brain Hurts!

Well, not really, but these questions, which RW posted to his blog yesterday, made me think a little left-of-center. I assume I can tell you to answer them as well,if you feel so inclined. He's called it, "What Would You Do?"

1. The couple right upstairs was always very loud and unrestrained in their frequent lovemaking sessions.
I lived next door to them once. Fortunately, they were very young and the noisiest part only lasted about a minute.

2. You've got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection. Plus the killing jar.
I'd wonder why I didn't know of it before, especially since I'm the one who cleans his room. I'd then explain why living butterflies are much better, and take him somewhere to see some.

3. You were the only one on your block who never had a fingerbox.
I don't even know what a fingerbox is, so I guess I never had one. I survived. I seldom got the cool stuff the other kids got anyway, so it's no big deal.

4. You got a windfall of $100,000.
I'd bank it, pay off some debts, then stock the fridge and pantry, get the car running again, and buy a 12-string, as well as a new sofa. The rest would sit in the bank to be used very frugally.

5. The police had a warrant and confiscated your computer.
No big deal, although I'd contact my lawyer to find out why. I save everything externally on a regular basis so I wouldn't really lose anything. I don't have anything on it that's comporomising anyway. And we have another laptop and desktop that I could use.

6. At a bar, a person of the same sex you swear you never met before knows everything about you.
The chances that anyone knows everything about me are really small since I hold a certain amount of myself in reserve. Besides, what does it matter what gender the person is? It would weird, regardless.

7. On your way to the art gallery you see yourself walking the other way with a wrapped painting under your arm.
I'd wonder where THAT bank account is hidden.

8. You had it wrong all along.
I'd educate myself, just like I did when I was wrong a hundred times before. I'm used to having it all wrong. If marriage teaches you anything, it's that you're wrong. Always.

9. The search engine tells you exactly the best brand name product to use for that problem but when you search for the brand name product no search engine you use can find it.
I'd ask a friend for the name of their favorite brand. I don't trust the opinions of a product's manufacturer.

10. Kenneth actually told you the frequency.
Who's Kenneth? Is he the guy who didn't give me a fingerbox when I was a kid?