Picasso's Last Words

The last time I had a glass of wine was on my birthday last month. I haven't missed it at all and when the Halloween weekend came along, I had no inclination to imbibe. Not in the least. At my age, you start to weight the pleasant high against the three days of bleagh you feel afterward, and for me, being in such crappy health anyway and coping with chronic pain with nothing stronger than Excedrin, the choice has been easy.

This just happened to be the first Halloween in 25 years that I was invited to two parties. Friday night I made an appearance at Jacey and Kyle's party. Wow, am I old. All of their guests were university students. Do the words, Animal House ring a bell?...

 It was fun being around all that young, kinetic energy, though. Kids that age are fun. Until they get drunk. I had one glass of wine and then was talked into shooting something that was served in test tubes and looked like blood. It tasted like Kool-Ade. Could have been Kool-Ade for all I got from it. I came home, had a terrible bout of what we around here call "back", and went to bed. I woke up feeling much better and actually looked forward to the next party, Ville's annual Halloween bash.

I had four or five glasses of wine (when I say glasses, you must understand that I always drink my wine poured over a wine glass stuffed with iceI learned a long time ago that I can't drink cheap wine straightso I actually had the equivalent of about two and a half glasses). We came home and went to bed. No probs.

When I woke up this morning I had a severe tannins attack. I don't know if the tannins in cheap red wine bother you, but they make me feel like I have the worst head cold for about an hour. Once I've gotten rid of everything I feel fine. Like now.

Anyway, I'm sitting here asking myself if it's worth it, and the answer is "No, it's not."

I used to think that when life sucked, or when I was in physical pain, a good wine buzz would fix it up. And it did. I could party, even have a bit of a hang the next day and think, "Wow, that was cool. I needed that." It doesn't work that way anymore. My quality of life has been so shot to hell of late, the last thing I want or need is to feel any worse. That's why I've gotten into meditation. It makes me feel better, lighter of mood and spirit, and hopeful. And there's no hangover and no feeling like a virtual snot factory.

So my point is, outside of a glass or two at dinner, or when we have guests over, I'm done. As much as I wish I was like the bohemian artists of the 19th and early 20th centuries, I'm not. I'm a 59 year-old woman who wants what's left of her life to be pleasant, as pain-free as possible, and productive. Wine no longer gives me those things, so it has to go. It had a great run32 years to be exactbut I won't miss it.

Well, maybe a little...