This is Why I'm an Independent Author

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, a TV personality, has been approached by Simon & Schuster to write A Shore Thing!, a novel about a girl finding love on the Jersey shore. It seems all that Snooki has found at the beach so far is the two cops who arrested her for disturbing the peace. She has also been charged with selling liquor to a minor who, after leaving her house drunk, was killed in a car accident. She's also the girl who got slugged in that video that Slyde was so crazy about. Or was is Earl? I can't remember...

Now, while I'm shore she's one of the literary world's great hidden geniuses and her book will no doubt be the great American novel (ahem), I have to wonder even more about the future of books and literature. You see, Snooki has bragged that in her 22 years she's read a whopping two books, Twilight and Dear John. And no, there isn't a ghost writer involved in her deal with S&S.

Hey, you die-hard publisher/agent fans, think about Snooki the next you blame us independents for the crisis the industry is experiencing. That sounds a lot to me like thrice-divorced born-agains blaming gays for the breakdown of marriage in our country.