Wiggle Room for the Soul
The past few weeks have been really hard... no, let me put it this way: the past few weeks have given me a lot of opportunity to work on this lesson. We don't have credit cards, a savings account, or, really, enough income to meet our few needs (shelter, warmth, food). Added to this, we get paid only once a month, and everything has to go out all at once; there's no "wiggle" room, no way to juggle bills until the next payday.
The thing is, all of the meditating I've been doing is really beginning to help me put things into perspective. Last night, when I went out to the kitchen to see what there was to eat (I wait until everyone else has eaten—don't ask me why. Perhaps it's my maternal instincts or something), I suddenly allowed my fear and frustration to surface. Immediately, however, the picture came into my mind of the Dalai Lama standing there. He looked at the canisters, inside the fridge and pantry, then turning to me with that smile of his, he said,
"You have lentils, rice, and oatmeal. You have eggs, cheese, ramen soup, milk, and tea. You're rich! A family in Tibet could live on this for two weeks!"
Needless to say, I felt checked, and I stood there, thankful for what we had.
Today, with $45 in my company checking account, $30 in our personal account, and $8 in quarters, nickels and dimes, we went out and got some groceries. We got what we absolutely needed to get us through to Friday when Nettl gets paid, and we spent only $30! There are three meals to make, some "adlib" stuff, and even a couple of snacks. Amazing!
I'm not writing this to call attention to myself, or to tell anyone how to think. I just wanted to share it because it meant so much to me. I'm really coming to believe that worry and fear are the products of ingratitude and that ingratitude is what keeps us unhappy.
No, our fridge isn't bulging and our pantry isn't stocked, but I'm feeling so happy right now that I don't care. I've gained something much more important.
Labels: Waxing Philosophical