Shut Up

When I awoke at nine this morning, I got up, went to the bathroom, took my meds and stumbled to the kitchen to switch on the coffeemaker. While standing there, I experienced the following inner argument...

ME: “I’m not ready to be awake yet. I’m going back to bed.”
MYSELF: “You can’t do that, you lazy bum. You’ll sleep the day away if you do.
I: “Kiss my ass. A body needs sleep you know.”
ME: “I’m not even going to wait for this coffee. I’m crawling back to the sack right now.”
MYSELF: “Lynette will come home at lunchtime and get mad that you’re still in bed, although she’s already put in most of her day at work, you lazy bum.”
I: “Blow me. She’s not like that at all. In fact, she’ll be happy to see Me sleeping peacefully, instead of working like a fiend, and getting sick.”
ME: “I’m outta here. I can’t even see straight.”
MYSELF: “You’ll be sorry, you lazy bum.”
I: “Oh, bite me.”

So I took Me, Myself and I back to bed and slept until 1:00. Of course, when I awoke, I was flooded with guilt and set about immediately to making the bed and making my environment appear as if I’d been awake all morning. Why do I do that? I’ve worked more hours this week than I would have if I had an 8-5 job. And I’m getting paid for it. What a dumbass. Someday I hope I’ll adjust to the self-employed mindset and leave behind the brainwashing of my years in the Work Force. I’m acting like a feudal serf.