Instead, I’ll just say that I think blogging just may save the world (especially America) from illiteracy. Suddenly, people who normally wouldn’t crack a book or put pen to paper (“I gradgiated from hi-skool and I ain’t never readin’ 'r writin’ nothin’ ever 'gin.”) are keeping blogs, reading blogs, and exercising their literary skills, fallow as some of those might be. It gives me a strange sensation of hope.
- Am I the only person on the planet who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Britney Spears exposing her shaved muff while getting out of a car in a too-short mini skirt? Or that Paris Hilton can’t make a three-point turn in a driveway? Am I uncool because I really don’t care about Tom Cruise’s wedding, or Kirstie Alley’s weight loss, or Angelina Jolie’s tattoos, or who’s poking whom? What is it with celebrity obsession? What the hell’s going on here?
- And speaking of fame gone awry, have you noticed that reality TV has become the elephant graveyard for celebrities who are on their way out? I mean, who really wants to watch Life With Ed? Following Ed Bagley, Jr. around must be about as exciting as watching the proverbial paint dry. Or Hogan Knows Best. Great. A steroid-bulging Neanderthal is the model of American fatherhood. I admit The Osbournes had its pathetic fascination at first, but watching Chasing Farrah and The Anna Nicole Show was painful. And Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels… gads… Do you think collecting bull sperm for $20,000 a pop is good television? Give it up, people. Go out with a little dignity. Didn't The Love Boat teach you anything?
- Please don’t ruin things for me. I don’t want to know about a killer hurricane hitting the east coast and wiping out New York City, or a mega-tornado taking out Dallas, or a tsunami destroying Seattle while a volcano destroys Portland. This whole fear campaign that the Discovery and Weather channels are waging ("It Could Happen Tomorrow", "Mega-Disasters") is, I suspect, funded by the government to keep us from thinking about the very real problems going on right now, today. Like North Korea, the Middle East, and the White House.
- Lastly, does anyone really need $23 billion and if so, how do I get mine? And on this final note, if someone were to give you a million, what are the first 5 things you would do with it?
Have you noticed that the History Channel is fixated on either World War II or shows that seem to use the bible as an actual historical text. I canceled cable two days ago. I’m just tired of it.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. In fact, we call it “The Hitler Channel”.
ReplyDeleteA million….
ReplyDeleteBuy someplace to live. Nothing big. As long as I don’t have to listen to the loud music from next door. I’d sorta like to live in the city (assuming it doesn’t get destroyed by a tsunami ;-) ). Even a small house in Seattle would take at least half of the million.
Buy a car. I have been without one for a long time. Maybe a hybrid. I’d also like to test drive a Mini Cooper. Love them little cars!
Take a vacation with my husband. Maybe go back to England, and hire a driver.
Help out my friends.
Put the rest in savings for retirement.
You are not crazy for not caring about all those things. I’m with you. I don’t care either. In fact, many of those things I didn’t even know about.
ReplyDeleteA million dollars. I think first I’d sock away $100,000 to give the kids a little more choice for college (currently I plan to try to help them go to public school in NC, which is fairly affordable). The rest I’d use to create a trust fund for myself that would give me a monthly stipend for the rest of my life, and then have the money donated somewhere when I finally kick off. Now, how to get that million. Must think.
If one wins a million on TV, doesn’t one have to pay something like 600 to 700k in taxes? That would leave one with 300 to 400k, which is certainly a wind fall, but isn’t enough to set one for life. Hell, 400k won’t even by that cute little townhouse around the corner.
ReplyDeleteOh, when I was up in Williamsburg, I discovered that there is actually a Military Channel now. Of course, my dear, sweet, born again Christian auntie is obsessed with it.
ReplyDeleteRegarding taxes, the tax rate as of this year would mean that, if you earn or win or are given one million taxable dollars, you’ll end up with $676,749.50 after federal taxes, if you’re married and filing jointly. tax rates (Sorry. It’s a curse. If there’s even a question, I have to at least try to answer it.) Next year it would be $677,794.
ReplyDeleteI was just checking out the prices of a home in Ventura. I think that would get one on the Avenue. I would probably cry and scream for joy if I received that kind of money, but it isn’t worth humiliating myself on television and marking myself for quasi z-list celebrity status. You know, the kind of celebrity that only gets you on television when you’re sought for tax fraud.
ReplyDeleteHey Deni,
ReplyDelete(Apologies to the webmeister for the off topic question)
What’s the deal with real estate capital gains if one is in one’s home for a little over a year. Hypothetically, let’s say one were to sell one’s 1 year old home at a profit (under 250k profit, mind you) and wanted to roll that immediately into a new home. One’s partner is on the deed, but not the mortgage this time. How much capital gains would one be hit with? I can give actual hypothetical numbers if necessary. I just learned about the 2 year rule and am miffed.
P., sorry I don’t have that kind of answer. I really didn’t know about income tax either until I did a Google search. The question you have is a bit more complex.
ReplyDeleteYou are not crazy for not caring about all those things. I’m with you. I don’t care either. In fact, many of those things I didn’t even know about.
ReplyDeleteA million dollars. I think first I’d sock away $100,000 to give the kids a little more choice for college (currently I plan to try to help them go to public school in NC, which is fairly affordable). The rest I’d use to create a trust fund for myself that would give me a monthly stipend for the rest of my life, and then have the money donated somewhere when I finally kick off. Now, how to get that million. Must think.