Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go

I'm so old, I don't remember Easy Bake Ovens. The only career orientation toys or games I remember is "Doctor" and "Post Office", and those weren't really about training me for a working adult life. Thanks to a Facebook friend I found these little gems...

Baby's First Cubicle. Sorry, I don't know what it's really called. I do know, however, that it includes a 160GB hard drive, 10/100 Ethernet, Microsoft Windows, a sound card and 2 external speakers, a surge protector, a 19" widescreen flat panel LCD monitor, custom Little Tikes Learning keyboard and Tiny Mouse, 1-year parts and labor, and bundled educational software. The cost is $2500. It's designed to teach your child, but what it doesn't teach is not to spend $2500 on a computer with a 160GB hard drive. If you have to indoctrinate your baby for a boring future of sitting in the corporate jungle of cubicles, at least buy him or her a laptop. Yeah, this little investment will prepare your children for all the TPS reports they're going to be filing when they grow up and discover their lives are just as boring as Mommy and Daddy's were.

Of course, someone has to clean those cubicles and one day they'll be "laid off" when they no longer fit the corporate image (i.e. when they turn 35), so buy them this toy when the Cubicle toy has become as obsolete as they will be in a few years. Notice that it's for "Girls Only"? With that kind of stereotyping, I'm surprised they didn't choose a black, hispanic, or asian girl to model for the package. Wait, maybe that girl is hispanic. If any of you live in Arizona, maybe you could profile her for me. Alternate name for this toy: Middle Aged Barbie's Dream Job.

Not all kids will be able to afford college, so here's a toy for them. Seriously, is this what parents are teaching their children today? To not only accept mediocrity as a viable life choice, but to actually anticipate it?

Excuse me, but life has gotten extremely effed up.