Things You Can Leave Me

So you have your heavenly passport and visa in order and you have your best Sunday outfit laundered and pressed for Saturday's Big Event (check out time is 6pm, by the way, regardless of where you are on the planet). Well, here is a list of things you can leave me. You're not going to need them and you don't want them being looted, do you? Just write a quick note willing these to me after the Rapture...

  • Your car
  • Your bank account PIN number
  • Your house keys
  • Your AmEx card
  • Your wine fridge, if you have one
  • Your pets (I'll take good care of them)
  • Your CD collection (unless it's made of nothing but praise music)
  • Your investment portfolio
  • Your musical instruments
Oh hell, just will everything to me and I'll save you the worry of having to sort it all out.