I watch a bit of HGTV. Most of the shows bore me, so I don't watch them, but I do like Househunters and Househunters International. Watching these shows I've come to realize that people are the same everywhere and that there are certain things home buyers always say, things that must drive real estate agents nuts...1. "Well, this is my closet. Where's yours?" — This is always said by the woman to the man in the master bedroom, and she always thinks she's so funny and clever when she says it. Always.
2. "I love this window seat. It's a great place to curl up with a book." — Yeah. How many of these people have even cracked a book since getting out of college? I can't remember the last time I saw someone in a window seat, reading. And why do they think they're going to "curl up" there?
3. "Oh, this pet door will be great for ["Fluffy"] when he wants to go in and out." — Isn't this redundant? What else is a pet door used for? Why don't you say, "This front door will be great when we want to go in and out" while the agent is opening the lock box?
4. "I want granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances." — Most people want these because they're the current trend. I predict that in 10 years it'll be something else and that 25 years from now people will see these features and comment on how dated they are; much like they do now when they see the butcher block and black appliances of the 1980s and '90s.
5. "I can see a hot tub sitting right there." — Perhaps, but more likely that space will become the parking place of your kids' battery-powered SUV.
6. "I don't know. I'm not crazy about the paint color/wallpaper/carpet." — Come on! You don't base buying a home on the color choices of the previous owners. See beyond that crap and get a flippin' imagination for crapsake.
7. "Does the furniture come with the house?" — This is always a lame attempt at a joke and the answer is no.
8. "Look honey, a grill! I'll be out here every weekend!" — Yeah, right.
9. "This is where I'll put my widescreen." — No you won't. Your wife wants to actually use that fireplace.
10. "This can be our guest room/office." — Why do we guests always have to share our space with your stacks of file folders, moldy coffee cups and annoying screensavers?
