It was a nice weekend. Micah arrived on Friday evening and we all sat in the livingroom talking and laughing with each other. It’s so wonderful having him home. I didn’t get to raise him, so I’ve always felt terribly cheated, and I lived in constant sadness and guilt as I watched him grow up 4 states away. But now he’s here, and I’m so proud of him. Nettl and I asked him to live with us so that he can forget about working for the man and just really throw himself into his music and creativity and see what happens. He’ll be working with me on my Alla Breve projects too, something for which I’m very grateful. He certainly couldn’t be with people who accept and love him more.
On Saturday evening, Joel, Micah and I went to Ville’s and sat on her patio until nearly three in the morning, drinking and having fun–I have the mosquito bites and backache to prove it (guess I’ll have to start sitting in a patio chair instead of the deck bench, although I know steam-cleaning the entire house didn’t help).
Today, Nettl and I hid out in our room watching movies on FX and Lifetime. One film, “The Mermaid Chair” caused us to enter into one of our famous philosophical conversations, this time about soul mates. The “silver screen” has done much to ill-prepare girls for relationships, I believe. Young women have been taught that perfect love will bring them their hearts’ desires and deliver to them a “happy ever after” future. Some people mistakenly believe that finding their soul mate will bring them a blissfully happy life with that person. The truth is, however, a soul mate is most often the one person who acts as sandpaper in order to smooth off our rough edges. Not that the relationship cannot be happy, for they usually are. But expectations of “perfect” love cause a great deal of heartache for a lot of young people.
When we meet that RIGHT person, the experience is heady–downright crazy–and we imagine that once we’re actually together, life will be a wondrously exciting experience. In this state, we never look ahead to paying the phone bill or cleaning the toilets. We’re too busy listening to the bells in our head and noticing how much brighter everything looks. That’s all well and good–and something that no one should miss–but too many couples fall apart when the first rush is over and life has to get down to being what it is. But I’d rather live an “ordinary” life with the right person than an exciting one with the wrong person. But maybe I can say that now that I’m facing 55 in a couple of weeks. My dad once told me, “When it all comes down to it, we marry for companionship.” There’s a lot to be said for a comfortable, secure companionship with one’s soul mate. The home is happy, the other family members are doing their things, and we’re watching stupid made-for-television movies.
When it’s right, it’s right.