Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On

Where do all these crumbs come from? I’m not aware of sitting over my computer keyboard eating packages of saltines or Shredded Wheat. The most action this baby sees is coffee (and wine), and so far I haven’t spilled any on it.

In the opening of “French Kiss”, staring Meg Ryan, there is a scene in which she sits cleaning her keyboard with a Q-Tip. I can top that. When I clean mine I take the keys off and clean each one individually with a Q-Tip and alcohol. Plus, I have a spray paint sized can of compressed air. One of the things I’ve liked about having a black keyboard is that I can’t see all of the finger schmutz, but as of this morning I no longer find that to be an asset. It seems that our keyboards are incubators. Here’s a little something I found at DeskDemon.Com:

Shake, Shake, Shake, and Shake Shake Again. What’s fallen out of your keyboard? Well, if it hasn’t been cleaned recently, there’ll be visible things such as crisps and biscuit crumbs, hair, the odd fingernail, and maybe a sprinkling of dandruff. But what about the things you can’t see?

• Saliva. Every time you breathe, moisture is created and it settles somewhere!

• Dead skin cells. Yes, afraid so. We all shed millions every day and where better to come to rest than in a computer keyboard?

• Body fat. Believe us, it’s true. Every time you type, touch a screen or telephone, the oil in your skin leaves a microscopic film. Just think what a few months’ build up looks like under a microscope.

You may not mind having a collection of nasties in your keyboard if they belong to you, but what about when equipment is shared? Do you really want to collect body fat and saliva from someone else? Thought not!

I’m not anal-retentive about my computer. I used to be, until my family grew from two to seven. Now, I kind of accept that we humans can’t live in vacuums or sterile glass bubbles. The Erwin-Wallers may have germs, but they’re our germs, damn it! And I’ve gotten over the ick factor of several years ago whenever I think about all of the micro-organisms in our bed linens, as well as the weird power/guilt I feel when I realize that I’m annihilating entire universes teeming with life with every shower.

Guess I’ll clean my keyboard today.