Tonight I participated as a judge at Stillwater High School’s debate tournaments. When I volunteered for this last weekend I was in the bosom of my family with a few glasses of wine in me and I imagined sitting in the school gym at long tables upon which sat Tupperware carafes of water and styrofoam cups, and boxes of those little yellow pencils that used to be at bowling alleys before they got computerized. There would be an audience at my back, students on a dais, and I’d be flanked by half-a-dozen other judges. Like American Idol. It wasn’t until we were in the car that I learned that I would be alone in a classroom with two varsity Lincoln-Douglas debaters and a timekeeper. I admit it. I panicked...I’ve never judged one of these things. Hell, I haven’t even attended a debate since 1969 when I was a senior and, I think, Deni was one of the students on the dais. There’s a reason why I never joined the debate team: I couldn’t even stand up in class to give a book report without feeling like my legs were going to give way; there was no way I was going to stand in front of an entire gym full of people and argue. About anything! (Singing was a different matter. Put a guitar in my hands and no audience was too big!)
Nettl was judging too (she was on the debate team when she went to Stillwater High and has judged these things as an adult), and after getting our Judging Manuals, schedules and maps of the campus, we ducked into the “Judges Only” lounge. Wow! The Judges Lounge! They even had butcher paper covering the glass walls and doors so that the students couldn’t moon us or give us the finger. Sitting at a table eating cookies and drinking Sprite (can you believe they had a napkin taped to the coffee maker with NO! written on it?), Nettl calmed me down by explaining the process, then she left to go judge her first debate. When she returned, she asked me if I wanted to audit her second debate. I’d already sat through a long hour and had another hour until my debate, so I was happy to go with her. Besides, I learn best by observation, not by reading manuals and studying sample ballots in a lounge that doesn’t give their volunteer judges free coffee.
Within the first three minutes of the debate I knew that this was going to be not only a breeze, but fun as well. When it was over we found “my” classroom and waited for 33A and 7G to appear. 33A showed up right away, as well as a timekeeper. 7G was nearly 20 minutes late through no fault of his own, and we immediately got down to business. The topic was “deadly force used as self-defense in the case of prolonged spousal abuse”.
As the Affirmative, 33A began the debate. He started strong, but then began to reveal that he was not very well prepared. He seemed to be more concerned about the debate than the actual topic and kept asking the timekeeper how much time he had left, which broke his concentration and tried my patience. Then it was 7G’s turn. How can I describe these two young men? I Know. In all ways, from their cases, questioning, attack and defense, rebuttals, delivery, and even their appearance, I surmised that if they were pursuing careers as lawyers, 7G would be going to Harvard and then joining a firm in Boston while 33A would wind up chasing ambulances in Muskogee. 7G had it all together in every aspect of the debate, so I gave him the higher score.
I have to confess that although it felt good after all these years to sit in a high school classroom and feel some personal power, it didn’t feel that great to hold these two kids’ debate scores in my hands. But as Heidi Klum says, “One of you will win, and one of you will be out.” (I just love the way she says “out”, like when she said to that little Yorkie, “You’re such a bad boy!” WOOF!)
Tomorrow we go back; we’ll each be judging three debates. Hopefully, being Saturday morning, they’ll provide coffee.
