You would think that after 12 years of blogging I'd no longer feel guilty when I don't leave a post every morning. You would think, but you'd be wrong...The thing is, I'm a loner. I have my social side, don't get me wrong, but I'm not one of those people who have something to say to people every day of my life. Some days my thoughts are enough to deal with. Then there are some days like yesterday, when not a single idea comes to me. On those days I prefer to go into the silence and let my brain rest. Perhaps a better way to describe myself is to say I'm a social loner. I value and guard my alone time jealously, but if a friend dropped by or invited me out, I'd be happy.
On these cold winter days I've taken to listening to music of the Baroque era. Its controlled passion helps me to focus and it keeps the pets quiet besides, a real luxury anymore. But finding things to write about here isn't always easy. I don't really like posting the day-to-day because so little happens; everything of any importance happens in my inner life, and that can't always be articulated or shared.
The one mundane thing I'll tell you about is that, thanks to my new prescription, I'm not in daily chronic pain anymore. It was so bad that I pretty nearly spent the past five years as a semi-invalid, and until just last autumn I spent all of my time on the bed due to immobility. All that's over now; I've now been pain-free for three weeks.
Thyroidzilla, too, seems to have been corralled, but I'm not sure why or how. Perhaps the pain created stress that triggered its attacks, I don't know. All I know is that since my doctor gave me this medication, I feel like a normal human being again. I can't even begin to tell you what that's like; unless you've been through it you really can't know. I hope you never know. It wasn't just the physical pain that was so disabling though, it also was the emotional, psychological, and psychic pain as well. There were times I thought my life was over anyway, so why not just end it once and for all? Fortunately, I'm an optimistic sort and the few good days I was given kept me believing there was some little hope. And what's better is that this medication is on the $4 list!
Okay, see? This is why I don't like to write about my day-to-day life. You're all snoring now.
Have a terrific weekend!
