Be Big About It

If I perceive a slight by someone I know and love, my first reaction is to give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I misunderstood or, in the case of email, perhaps I'm reading something they didn't intend to imply. It's difficult to read expressions and tones of voice on the internet after all. After that, I wonder if I said (or wrote) something that they misunderstood.

In friendship, it has to be someone's place to be big about these things; too many people fly off the handle far too easily and feelings get hurt in our wake as we plow through these situations, functioning from fear and ego.

If, after all this has failed and I see that the slight was intended, either consciously or unconsciously, I ask myself, "Is this so bad that I need to rattle our friendship over it, or is this one of the many times I need to shrug and allow them their bad day, physical pain, illness, stress, etc.?" I don't feel that bending like this for the people I love threatens me in any way. I'm not that fragile.

If I didn't forgive my friends, I wouldn't have friendships that go back 50 years, I'd be a lonely, bitter person clutching petty slights instead of embracing people who have enriched my life in so many ways. I must afford them some off days.

Friendship is so precious--to cheat it so thoughtlessly is a punishment in and of itself and we rob ourselves of an opportunity to grow and evolve one step higher. But then, I am a Libra, and we're always weighing everything in our scales.

I have been blessed by friends who forgive me and give me the benefit of the doubt in return. This note is just to thank you for being my friend.


  1. Very timely post for me. Thank you!

  2. As it turned out, it was timely for me as well. Two days after I'd initially written this and posted it on Facebook, I was put to the test with a friend I've known since 1965. I decided not to rock the boat. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and kept my big mouth shut. Not easy! But the thing is, I had to ask myself if he would have hurt me intentionally and my answer was, no, of course not. If my answer had been yes, my next question would have to had been, why am I keeping him around then? This makes life and relationship so much easier for me!


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