Summer Must Be Near

Every year at this time, I get the itch to lighten up the color schemes around me: my blog, the dining table, and my desktop, to name only three. Last night, I changed my desktop to this, from the simple black with a neon OM symbol that had adorned my laptop. I don't think this stuff is worth sharing most of the time, but this piece of digital art typifies me in the warmer months so well that I had to share it.

If money were no object, this is the kind of thing I would waste it on. I'd go to some tropical locale and rent a pilot to drop me off on a deserted cay, along with a lawn chair, a hammock, my guitar, and a day's supply of food and drink. Come pick me up at 6:00, please.

Who needs cruise ships or yachts?

(Image enlarges when clicked. Harvested from Margaritaville.com)

Road Trip!

Nettl and I have decided that sometime soon we'd like to take a road trip through Colonial America. The only times I've been to the east coast have been by jet, and I had definite destinations. I spent some time yesterday mapping out routes. We would be able to meet some of our off and online friends as we passed through their cities.

First, we'd stop in Tennessee to meet The Doctor, an 18th century reenactor, during one of his exhibitions. Then, we'd have a beer and a meal with Bob in his favorite Raleigh pub. From there, we'd go to Williamsburg and up through Washington DC to spend a few days with our friends George and Noelle in New Jersey (they live only about 20 miles outside of NYC). Of course, we'd have to meet Earl and Slyde! Afterward, we'd head up to Boston to spend a few days with Michael, who'd show us everything worth seeing. During the return trip, we'd turn right at Buffalo and spend a couple of days in Toronto, visiting with our Rhombus Media friends, then head down to share a meal with RW in Chicago. Then, we'd set out on our way back home.

It would be fun to be on the road for a month, seeing places like Gettysburg, Monticello, Mt. Vernon, Philadelphia and etc. along the way. If any of you live in these areas and want to meet, let me know!

Pictures from Monday

Here are a few from Memorial Day, which we spent at the home of our dear friend, Allen, who is the professor of Music History at the university. Click to enlarge.

Allen's back yard is full of Hydrangeas...

and other delights tucked away in hidden places.

I've always loved these.

Allen at the grill.

Heather and Allen enjoy the late afternoon...

while I grab just one more photo of the Hydrangea bed.

Later, Micah tried his hand at playing the viola da gamba...

and a wonderful time was had by all.

Place Me Like a Seal Over Your Heart

"Because I love you and because I love myself, I will live gently with you and myself.

I will remember that heart-centered loving is an ongoing process graced by committment, mutuality and respect.

I will honour, express and heal your feelings, as I know you will mine.

Because you are my beloved, I will share my body, mind and heart in ways that encourage the exchange of healing and nurturing energy between us.

I will listen with my heart.

When I speak, I will be heartful, and not hurtful.

I will be nice, kind and appreciative, and I will allow laughter to pour forth from me with ease, and to permeate our relationship."

(These were the vows we wrote for our Holy Union service on May 25, 2001)

Breakfast in Bed

A Wonderful Anniversary Celebration

Last night, Nettl and I celebrated our 8th anniversary. What a great night! Actually, it was a great day. Although probably not exciting by someone else's standards, we loved it because, for the first time in eight years, we spent it entirely on ourselves. I awoke at about a quarter to ten because we had to make a run to the bank. Afterward, we went to Sonic and ordered a cherry limeade (for me) and a cherry Dr. Pepper (for Nettl) and took them to the park, where we sat listening to 60s and 70s oldies on the radio while watching the cardinals and squirrels.

We then came home and lounged around all day. Later in the evening, we went to Zannotti's, where we ordered a cheese and bread plate, a smoked salmon plate, and a bottle of champagne. There was a duo there that performed jazz standards; they were really good, even by my standards, and I'm a really critical asshoole. When we left, we stopped at Brown's for another bottle of champagne and then the grocery store for a roast chicken, blue cheese-stuffed olives and marinated artichoke hearts, which we brought home. We then locked ourselves in our room, put on my 18th century station on Pandora, and spent the rest of the evening together.

This was the first time since our Holy Union that we've been able to go out for our anniversary and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly! Ain't love grand?

(Disregard the date on these pictures. Somehow that got all buggered up and we didn't know until it was too late. Pictures embigify when clicked.)

A Big Bowl of Relief

I just want to say that our kids are good eggs. Actually, they're effin' great! Since we hit on such hard times, they've come through for us on several occasions. At different times, Heather has taken care of utility bills (not to mention ordering pizza or Chinese take-away), Joel has paid the rent and bought groceries, Micah has bought both groceries and wine, and when she was still at home, Lauren helped out, too. Our kids know that being a family means working together through the hard times and celebrating the bounty in the good. Nettl and I couldn't possibly be prouder.

I won't lie, it's been a scary week. I've had no work for two months, so there were no meals in the house. I went out last night and bought a bag of navy beans for $2.00 and two boxes of cornbread mix for 72¢. I had a total of $3.76 in my wallet. Of course, soup being my forte, I made up a killer pot of beans and a pan of honey cornbread, which I make even when we're not broke. Amazing, feeding five adults for under $3.00. And there's leftovers!

Tonight, Micah took me out and bought groceries for the week, as well as some wine. Earlier in the afternoon, I got a check from the university for a site I'm to work on over the summer. What a relief! Where last night I was on the brink of absolute despair, tonight the bills are paid and the fridge and pantry are stocked. I'll sleep tonight.

Monday is our 8th anniversary. On May 25th, 2001, Nettl and I exchanged vows at College Hill Presbyterian Church in Tulsa before our friends and family. Because Monday is Memorial Day, we're going out tomorrow night to celebrate. We've never been able to do this before, but thanks to a friend who wishes to remain anonymous, we'll be going to Zannotti's Wine Bar, a place we love, but usually can't afford. We're feeling like a couple of kids going on a first date!

We know this lean time won't last forever, and we know that there are many, many families across America that are in a lot worse situations than we are, so we try to keep our spirits and humor up -- our family and friends are what keep us going. We love you.

"Twoo Wuvvv..."

Nothing says Love more than going downstairs to find that someone has already made the coffee. I love you, whoever you are!

Dreams Die Hard

This is the summer that Nettl and I were supposed to move to Vienna. I was supposed to be crating up our things by now and taking care of all the paperwork. We were also supposed to be financially stable by now, but we didn't foresee the complications that wiped out my uncle's estate, nor the world economic crisis that has made affording the simple day-to-day basics a terrifying struggle.

We have a couple of other irons in the fire, not the least of which is what I call "the Mozartiana", two items from the Hagenauer Cache that I'm selling once they can be appraised. Right now, they're considered to be priceless. An exhibition in Milan is coming up, so maybe someone will start bidding on my items and get us out of this hole. The other is the book that Nettl and I are writing. Writer friends of ours who are in the know concerning the historical fiction genre, assure us that there is no lack of publishers looking for a property such as ours.

Because I'm feeling particularly homesick for Vienna (I always do when summer nears), I can't get the life I've envisioned there out of my head. Nettl tries to convince me that spending a season or two in Vienna every year would be easier and a lot more fun than actually living there. I know intellectually that she's right, but my dreams are dying a slow, hard death.

My numerology tells me that this year I'm entering a new phase in which I will become fabulously wealthy and will be helping family and friends, as well as strangers, through philanthropic work. That fits, because one of my greatest dreams has been to go down to the local Walmart with $20k in cash in an envelope. I will then give it to an employee and tell them to take it to the elderly greeter I see there all the time, not revealing who it's from. After I watch her open it, I'll leave, remaining anonymous. There are in fact a small number of people I want to send $20k checks to. Nothing would make me happier than to lighten the load of these individuals.

I wouldn't put much stock in these predictions, but I've heard the same thing from various other sources through the years. And yes, I do believe in such things. I have to.

An Epiphany

Have you ever noticed how many predatory, seemingly amoral jerks seem to end up with all the marbles? During my meditation today, something occurred to me. I've always wondered why people with no consciousness, or sense of morality, end up with prosperity while good, hardworking, well-intentioned people often get left feeling locked out in the cold. Once the answer came to me, I was amazed at how easy it was. Meditation (as well as a random act of kindness) is like that. Receiving the bounty of life has less to do with the negativity we project than it does the positivity we accept. Allow me to repeat that:

Receiving the bounty of life has less to do with the negativity we project

than it does the positivity we accept.

Not to get into gender issues, I'd like to say that I believe men receive more from life than most women (especially women of my age group), because of the way they face it. The world is their oyster, they're taught, while we have been taught to accept our lot with grace and gratitude. And always, the way our life turns out has a lot to do with the men in our lives (fathers, husbands, bosses). If we make bad choices, or life hands us someone who doesn't have our wellbeing at heart, well...

Because of the basic training I received growing up in the Fifties, I believe that my lack of success and security is due first to daring to be a single mother at a time when that wasn't so common, and second, to living authentically, refusing to spend my life in the closet. You can't expect much help when you buck the status quo.

But my real point here is about how I chastise and torture myself with thoughts that my frequent sense of futility somehow create more "bad luck". I'm here tonight to say, bullshyte! That's not what has held me back. What's held me back (as well as Nettl and I as a couple) is that I've never accepted positivity.

My heart's desire is to be financially secure enough to create random acts of financial kindness for people who are in need. I don't give a tinker's damn about being rich, of having a big house, big car, or any of that. I want to be a philanthropist. That's it. The problem is, whenever anyone has acted as a philanthropist in my behalf, I've given that money to someone or something else.

Case in point: every Christmas and every birthday, Nettl's father and stepmother send each of us a check for $100. That's $100 from him and $100 from her. That means that at Christmas, we receive $200 apiece—$400 total. And what do we do with it? At Christmas, we buy groceries for Christmas dinner and gifts for the kids. That's not really so bad. What's bad is that the birthday checks have always gone toward rent or the bills. Today, I realized that what we're doing is cutting off the flow. If I can't receive, how can I ever hope to give? That a no-brainer!

Well, that all changed today. We decicded to step out on faith and put our money where our mouth is. Literally. We received a financial gift and we aren't paying bills or buying groceries with it, although that goes against our survival instincts. The gift was given with the intent that we use it a certain way and that's what we're going to do. I thank the giver not only for the gift, but for the opportunity for me to gain some small degree of enlightenment. Seems so simple now.

Odd Jobs

Anyone need me to come mow their lawn? I used to work in landscaping, out in California, so I have lots of experience. I'll even bring my own beer.

What Can I Say?

It Was a Cool Idea

The house next door to Ville and her husband is up for rent, so we discussed checking it out. How cool would that be! "Hey, Ville!" I could shout over the back fence. "Can I borrow a glass of wine?"

Plus, going to each other's parties would be a snap, and we'd all be only crawling distance from home. Wow! The mind reels at all of the possibilities.

Back yard picnics and barbecues, decorating our houses and yards for holidays, borrowing crap from each other... I thought it would be great to install a gate between our the back yards. Maybe we could even start a communal veggie garden.

We went over last evening to take a look at the house and unfortunately, it's not as roomy as hers. The bedrooms are tiny -- our bedroom furniture wouldn't even fit in the master bedroom. Damn!

It was a cool idea though.

Against the Wind

With new determination to simplify my life, I decided last night to post new chapters to our book's private blog every Sunday night, rather than whenever I finish one. I was putting too much pressure on myself to keep the chapters coming, which was causing unecessary stress.

I got a lot of work done on Chaper Four last night, editing, rewriting, and fleshing it out. (My modus operandi is to take what Nettl has written and add my own stuff to it, unless a new chapter is needed.) The chapter was 13 pages long. Right in the middle of page 12, Word crashed on me. I didn't panic though because I have the autosave set to do its thing every five minutes. I started looking for the temp file, but it was nowhere to be found. Growing increasingly frustrated, I went online to find out what I might do. Apparently, Word 2003 has issues with the autosave function. Nothing saved.

At that point, I knew that I had two options. It was two in the morning. I could just close it down and start over again today, probably forgetting everything I'd written, or I could buck up and just start over. You know how that feels. The last thing you want to do in that situation is start over, but that's what I did.

It actually came out better. I learned this lesson many years ago when my Commodore 128 crashed, losing the three chapters I'd just spent all day writing (I was new to computers and didn't know to save at the end of every page. Last night's situation wasn't nearly as bad as that.

Sometimes, you just have to turn against the wind and get through it.

Enough Of This Crap!

Okay, I'm done with the futile, helpless crap I've been feeling lately. It's not over until it's over, and I'm not going down with the ship. Bugger that! I used to say that there are two types of people: winners and losers, and I refuse to be a loser. The 24-karat springs on my feet have always made sure that I bounce back higher than from where I was dropped. Bite me, Life! Get out of my effin' way!

Simplify

I don't think my life has ever been simple. I seem to have come into this world with a backpack of cares, responsibilities, and unfinished business.  I was reading through a couple of my journals last night and I remembered how difficult life was for me emotionally and spiritually in the 70s. The 80s were no easier. In fact, it seems that each new decade only added to my load.

But the point of this entry isn't to complain. It's to say that I need to simplify my life. It's gotten far too cluttered, but with what? My day-to-day is really pretty boring. Ill health and lack of finances make sure that the most exciting thing I do every day is make dinner (when I can) or when I finally find a comfortable setting on the AC (when I do). I'm not kidding. With no car, I can't go to Hastings Book Store to sit in the cafe, or to the library, or Theta Pond. I wish I could work outside the home, I really do, but my health won't allow it, and right now my brain is firing only on one cylinder, so there's no way that I could learn a new job. Hell, I can't even manage web design right now. My brain gets muddled and confused, and I get frustrated and exhausted after only a few moments. What's up with that? Sometimes I wonder if I'm losing my mind.

What I need to do is cut whatever fat I have cluttering my thoughts. That means neglecting the different blogs that I have (except this one), maybe even deleting them to get rid of the blogligation I feel. It means dumping my four MySpace accounts. I've already axed Twitter, and I have two Facebook accounts (which I need to keep). Whatever it takes, I need to address the worry that keeps me awake every night, as well as the crushing anxiety attacks that wake me up every morning. I hate waking up feeling defeated before my feet even touch the floor.

As soon as we move, things will be a lot easier. We'll be cutting our rent drastically and will be getting help from the kids via a reasonable rent amount from them. I wish it didn't have to be like that, but we're this close to total ruin that it's making a misery of my life, and probably shortening it, too. With the sale of the Mozartiana comes promise, however. It could be sold for anywhere from $35k to a million or more. The upcoming exhibition in Milan will tell. I just have to hang in there a little bit longer and try to keep my inner Hounds from Hell at bay.

I'd like to take a Tai Chi class like I did in California, but there's no such thing here in our part of Okieland. There's yoga classes, but they teach only the physical side of it, not the spiritual, so I've decided to start meditating again; I probably should have never quit in the first place. I'm starting tomorrow. It's a good step toward simplifying my life and regaining my focus.

Eat One Today

Today, the frankfurter is 521 years old. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Sleeping on the Years

Tonight Ville came over and we pulled out the two bankers boxes that contain my journals, volumes 1-57, that span the years between 1976 and today. There are a lot of memories in these journals, because I've used them not just for my thoughts and daily activities, but I've also allowed my friends to write and draw in them through the years. In essence, they are my life. Tonight, we read through them, laughing until we each had to run to the bathroom countless times. This is a picture (albeit a dark one taken with my web cam) of our cat lying on top of the boxes. Tomorrow I'm taping them up, not to be opened again until 2024, 15 years from now. It has been a GREAT evening; just what I needed!

Guard them well, Kitty.

Armchair Circumnavigator: The Need to Get Away

I've been checking out a tiny resort in Roatán, Honduras. I first saw it on HGTV's "House Hunters", on an edition in which a young couple with two small children left Idaho to buy a resort named, Bananarama. All it took for me to want to go there was a shot of a tiny garden cabana with a hammock tied up on the front porch.

A little Googling revealed photos of a tropical setting, smiling people, and azure blue water gently lapping onto a pristine white sand beach. In checking out the prices, I found that it's ridiculously cheap to stay there. In fact, getting there would be the biggest expense. (Click images to enlarge.)

Roatán is the largest of the Honduras Bay islands, about 37 miles long and 5 miles wide at its widest point. Bananarama, located on West Bay Beach, consists of 6 private cabanas and 19 rooms and suites of varying sizes. It also has a dive shop, a small restaurant and wine cellar, and a beachside bar called, The Thirsty Turtle Bar & Grill, which is only 100ft. down a sandy path from the cabanas.



Most people go there to for the diving, but if I could go, I'd be happy to lay in my porch hammock and spend the week in lazy contemplation and "just being". I used to go camping alone at Wheeler Gorge, in Ojai when life got too congested and I too careworn. I spent the days napping on a broad rock in the middle of the creek and the nights by my fire, playing my guitar and looking up at the night sky. By Sunday afternoon I was a new person, ready to get back into the fracas of work, school, and parenting with a better attitude and more resiliancy. Bananarama is my new fixation and the price could be tantalizingly do-able once we're out of this money hellbeast of a house. But, as I mentioned, the air fare would be the real consideration.

Of course, I'd never take a week away alone until after Nettl and I could take a trip together to some place she would like. She needs a break too, after all; her hell job is a lot worse than what I experience in my day-to-day. She'd really like to go to London, so after we can afford a trip like that, I'll start saving for Banarama!




My cabana of choice, Cabana #2. Mini fridge, microwave, coffee pot, drinking water, air conditioning, ceiling fan, private bath with shower, TV & internet, private porch with chairs and hammock, breakfast included, room service from the bar -- $300 a week. Picture me in the hammock ordering Coronas with lime!

Good news on the Mozartiana front: There's an exhibition in Milan coming up. Keep your fingers crossed that people are in the mood to buy. Bananarama could be closer than I think!

Things I Want, Damn It!

I'm not a material person. Not by a long shot. My parents struggled financially their entire lives, and as a single parent at 18, I learned early on to differentiate between wants and needs. A lot of things young people like to spend money on had to be passed by so that I could buy food and pay the bills. I didn't go to the movies, I didn't buy clothes and shoes, and I didn't throw money around on the latest "cool" trends. Every extra dime went into a savings account that built up until Christmas. I put myself through school while working two jobs, and I cleaned my parents' house once a week for a few extra bucks. Putting everyone else first quickly became a way of life, and I'm still living under that burden nearly 40 years later.

Later, it was my parents. When I moved to Denver to take care of my father, I gave up my career as a composer/conductor, and when my mother moved in with us in 2000, I lost my credit rating because she was so in debt, and had huge prescription bills. Well, there are things I want, damn it. Things that some people take for granted. Here's my "selfish" wish list:

a home here in Stillwater, Oklahoma.
Not a 2.5 million-dollar house in California,
or even an apartment in Vienna.

a Takamine 12-String

a full pantry

A dog

a Siberian

a Bose Lifestyle 18 sound system

a wide-screen TV

a Jeep Wrangler

a birthday present for Nettl and each of the kids.
I'm tired of saying, "Next year, I promise."

to go out to dinner once in a while.

On May 25th Nettl and I will be celebrating

the 8th anniversary of our Holy Union. We have

yet to go out for dinner for our anniversary,

much less take a weekend away for it.

For us, going out to dinner --for any occasion--

usually means we can drive through a fast food.

Granted, most of these things aren't necessary, but that's the point, damn it.

It Effin' Did it Again!

Hey, are there any Car Guys out there in my bloghood??? We're having a pretty severe thunderstorm, so 30 minutes ago I went outside to move the plants. While I was admiring the lightening, I saw that the windows of the van were down, so I went to close them. The doors were locked, so I reached inside to unlock the passenger side and the alarm system went off.

Do you know how annoying alarm systems are? Does anyone ever come out to save someone's car when they hear an alarm system honk-honk-honking? No. Nettl and I tried everything to make it stop, but nothing worked (the little keyring dealybobber quit working a long time ago). Finally, after 10 minutes of annoying the neighbors and of us having nervous breakdowns, the system shut it down. And the car as well. Now the car won't start. That's what it did before, and we couldn't use the car for nearly a year. There's no trip switch anywhere to override the security shut-down.

We have this one car. Nettl uses it to drive herself and Heather to work every day. Does anyone know how we can turn the car back on? I've looked up the car on the web, but there's no info on it anywhere.

As if this wasn't enough, Nettl just got a phone call saying that her grandmother just died.
__________
UPDATE 9:40 PM:
Nettl just read that the security system shuts off the fuel pump after 10 minutes of honking. Well, great. Now, how do we turn it back on?

UPDATE 10:34 PM:
Got it fixed! I found a page on the web that addressed turning off the alarm (put key in door, turn left, then right), so Nettl went out and tried it. There was no indication that it should work on our problem (which the online manual didn't mention), but it worked! Of course, what really fixed it was the "Middle Fingers Dance" that we do together whenever we get good and pissed off, and can't take it anymore. It works every time. Try it. It goes like this:

To the tune of the Blue Danube Waltz:

Why don't you fuck off?
(mouth fart, mouth fart)
Why don't fuck off?
(mouth fart, mouth fart)
Repeat, etc.

On the mouth farts, dance your middle fingers (hands faced down) to the left, then to the right.

And it's Raining Again

Sometimes, I have the weirdest dreams. Last night's took place in a city in which I often find myself in my dreams. Not quite London or Vienna, but with elements of both, the city is large, but not congested. And I never see any cars. Of course, I believe each of us contains a universe within us, so this is obviously a place inside of me that I created and must really like to visit from time to time.

Last night, I was at a Beatlefest with Deni. However, the only "Beatles" that were there were Paul McCartney impressionists, which is odd because Deni and I, being Libras, have always been into John Lennon. The stage was full of McCartney wannabees playing various songs in a large concert.

Afterward, Deni and I caught a ride on the back of a large flatbed that was taking a bunch of us somewhere, and it began to rain. Deni and I broke out singing "Rain" by the Beatles, and everyone joined in. I was the only one who took Lennon's lower harmony. It was cool, like a bunch of teens in the back of a pickup, singing the popular songs and being happy. Until this dream, I'd forgotten what a cool song it is.

Note Paul's broken tooth. He'd had a Moped accident just prior to filming this.

Right Through the Heart

Ten years ago today, a woman who'd found my Mozart website signed the guest book. The site was several months old, but the guest book was new; her entry was only the 9th:

 "Ich liebe dich Herr Mozart!" ("I love you Mister Mozart!")

I never replied to simple one-line entries, although I did when the signer asked Mozart a question or left a sizable comment. Entry number 9 was short, but I felt compelled to respond to it. It wasn't the first time Mozart had been told he was loved, but for some reason I commented back this one time:

"Und Ich liebe dich meine gnädige Frau!" ("And I love you my gracious lady!")

Thus began a correspondence that changed my life forever. Guest number 9 was Nettl and this is the tenth anniversary of the day we finally found each other.

Ich liebe dich meine schöne, süße Frau.

Trinity

Because I'm basically an androgyne*, I slip easily between what is traditionally thought of as feminine and masculine, but because I've had two children, Mothers Day is one day when I feel the female energy in me more than any other.

I've had my turn at being Maiden, and I've survived the Mother phase. Now, I'm entering the Crone phase and I have to admit that it suits me best. I've already dedicated a fair amount of time on this blog to the changes and benefits of getting older, so I won't repeat myself. Let it just be said that today, I'm happy to be older. The angst of being young and wondering when, and if, true love will come to me is something I really don't want to relive, and although I loved being a young mother, there is a sense of relief and accomplishment now that my boys are grown. Now, I await grandchildren, if that happens. Meanwhile, just being older is wonderful!

I think that the fact that I don't play the traditional "mom" role around here is confusing for the kids. Nettl's kids bring me my coffee and give me a kiss, but I think my sons are uncomfortable, not knowing what I need on this day. It doesn't take much though. A hug and "Thank you" are always nice, and go a l-o-n-g way with me.

I do have something to say about this painting, however. Why do the maiden and crone look so forlorn while the mother looks fulfilled and happy? There is fulfillment and happiness that come with each of the phases, after all.

If I have anything to say about Mothers Day, it's this: I am honored to have been given my sons through my body, and my daughters and third son through Lynette's body. I have been doubly blessed.

Happy Mothers Day.

---

*An androgyne, in terms of gender identity, is a person who does not fit cleanly into the typical masculine and feminine gender roles of their society. They may also use the term ambigender to describe themselves. Many androgynes identify as being mentally "between" woman and man, or as entirely genderless. They may class themselves as non-gendered, genderneutral, agendered, between genders, intergendered, or bigendered.

Because it's Friday Night & I'm Bored

I found this over at Byzantium's Shores. Jaq loves memes as much as I do --well, maybe more-- and that's great because he provides me with a steady supply of fun quizzes. Here's one called "Eight".







8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:

1. Moving. Not the actual move, but being in a new house that doesn't eat up our income faster than it comes in. It's time for a change in other ways, too. We're finishing up a 9 cycle on August 1st, the very day we actually move. It will be the 9th anniversary of the day we moved to Stillwater. I anticipate good things to come!
   
2. Having money after the 5th of every month. That'll be nice. Paying bills and buying groceries are happy things.
3. Feeling better.
   
4. Selling the Mozartiana.
   
5. Continuing to lose weight. I think about 15 lbs. will do it for me.
   
6. Dinner this Sunday.
   
7. Getting a dog.
   
8. Recording my album with Micah.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Made coffee.
2. Made the bed.
3. Got dressed.
4. Changed out a roll of TP.
5. Blogged.
6. Felt like crap.
7. Made dinner.
8. Did some web design.
   
   (Can you stand the excitement?)
   

8 Things I Wish I Could Do Right Now:

1. The weirds with Ville.
2. Fly Airbus to Vienna.
3. Sit around my old fire pit in California with my friends just one more time.
4. Take one last music/Life lesson from Frank.
5. Spend the weekend with Nettl in a 5-star hotel somewhere, anywhere.
6. Drink a bottle of champagne.
7. Get up the energy to work on some music.
8. Be 25 again, but know what I know now.

8 Shows I Watch on Telly:

1. House Hunters (HGTV)
2. The OETA Movie Club (PBS)
3. Are You Being Served? (PBS)
4. Whose Line is it, Anyway?
   
5. As Time Goes By (PBS)
6. Dinner Impossible (Food TV)
7. The Daily Show with John Stewart
   
8. The Colbert Report
   

8 Life Lessons I Have Benefited From (or am TRYING to put into practice):

1. If it's too good to be true, it usually is.
2. Sleep on it.
   
3. ALL drama is unnecessary, and a waste of our precious energy and time.
4. Never forget to tell someone you love them. You might not get another chance.
5. Hanging onto anger hurts no one but yourself. It's self-inflicted poisoning. Let it go.
   
6. What we align ourselves with, we become.
   
7. In a good relationship, there's very little that's worth rocking the boat over.
8. There are only two emotions: love and fear. All others stem from these two. Hate is not the opposite of love, fear is.

And on that note, adieu.

Forever Noon

Maybe it's because I was born at straight-up noon, or maybe it's because my eyesight is deteriorating on me. Every morning when I wake up, I think the clock reads noon. It doesn't matter what the actual time is, my brain sees 12 o'clock.

This morning I woke up, looked at the clock, and saw that it was noon. "Shit!" I said aloud. "Nettl will be home any minute and here I am still in bed."

It wasn't until I was downstairs and halfway through my morning coffee-making ritual that I saw it was only 8:45.

Weird crap happens to you when you get over 50.


P.S. Have you noticed that in the Followers widget we can now select a transparent border?

Thursday Fade Away

Do you ever wake up feeling great, only to feel yourself fade as the minutes pass? I'm having one of those days. There's a meme somewhere called, Stay in Bed Thursday, and if I hadn't been in bed all last week with the flu, I'd join them today.

This phenomenon is something I've always called my Libra Lazies. I have loads of energy, which I love to expend in any number of ways, but then there are those days when dynamite couldn't blast my ass out of this chair. I'm sure my fellow Libra readers can relate.

Today, I'll be working on Lynette's book, So Faithful A Heart. I've never been much of a collaborator, whether writing words or songs, but she and I are a winning team in everything we do, so this is easy. I don't even know how to write a book with someone, but we fell quite naturally into a methode that's working quite well. I just didn't get anything done last week, so I really have to dedicate some time to it before the weekend; I know that she has plans to spend it writing.

Couch Park

I don't know if you heard about this, but Oprah Winfrey sponsored a free chicken dinner from KFC (the coupons are no longer downloadable/printable, but existing ones are still redeemable), so Nettl and I used our two coupons and took our meal out to Couch Park. It was beautiful out there. It was sunny and clear and temperature was about 81°. The last two weeks of rain has made everything lush and green and it was really nice being outside. The meal was decent too: two pieces of roast chicken, two sides, and a large drink. I hope some people printed those things out and distributed them amongst the homeless. I'm not an Oprah fan, but this was pretty cool of her.

It's the Cat's Fault

Nearly every morning the cat and I have a showdown of sorts. When I wake up, I like to stumble to my bedroom wingback, which is my office, to read your blogs and jumpstart the day with my coffee. But nearly every morning the cat has claimed her spot in my chair, so I bring my laptop and coffee back to bed, where I feel like a lazy bum who doesn't get out of bed until noon. Then Nettl comes home for lunch, which only adds to my sense of guilt.

Sure, I could simply move the cat, and sometimes I do, but she just looks so damned cute lying there sound asleep with one paw over her eyes. (The picture is of her in Nettl's chair a few months ago. I was going to take one of her in mine, but the camera needed to be recharged.) She has her rights, too, and who am I to move her when she's sleeping so well?

So here I am still in bed at noon. Netl will be home soon and I'll feel the need to say, "I've been up for a while, I just couldn't bear to move that damned cat!" Of course, Nettl wouldn't mind if I was still sleeping when she comes home at 5:30. In fact, instead of thinking, "What a lazy ass!" she'd be thinking, "Oh, I hope my poor Liebchen isn't sick again!"

But I promise. Just as soon as I finish this cup of coffee, I'm getting up, taking a shower, and getting dressed. The crap I put myself through...