1) Who’s least irritating: John Tesh, David Hasselhoff, or Yanni?
You’re asking a classical composer this? This is a thought-provoking question. Tesh is a Born-Again, so he’s right out, except that at least he’s musically literate. Haven’t heard very much of Hasselhoff, but he does speak (and sing) in German. Yanni was ok as long as Linda Evans was standing next to him. But then, I can’t stand to watch him do that stupid Malibu Barbie Beach Blanket Bimbo Butt**** hair-flipping motion. My score?
- Tesh - Positive mark: Can actually write music on paper. Negative mark(s): Born-Again. Looks like Dudley Do-right. Writes early 21st century “Up With People” hack music.
- Hasselhoff - Positive mark(s): Fluent in German. Has a good voice. Negative mark(s): Plastic “Gone Hollywood” image. Probably waxes and tans his vocal chords. Sings quasi-disco hack music.
- Yawn!i - Positive mark: Linda Evans. Negative mark(s): Dumped by Linda Evans. Malibu hair-flip. Mental mind massage hack music.
2) Which book do you believe should never ever (ever, ever, ever!) be made into a motion picture?
The History of Door Hinges by Rusty Skroux. No, seriously, Elective Affinities by Goethe (oh no…I’m seeing visions of Merchant-Ivory (or Kenneth Branaugh) getting a hold of this one!).
3) What’s the corniest pick-up line you recall using?
In a bar, to a woman wearing a T-shirt with my first name on the front in a script font (it was some rock singer’s name, not specifically mine): “Did you know you have my autograph on your chest?” Corny, but it worked. We were together for four years.