Close Enough

The Best Christmas Ever

Christmases have been kind of hard for me since every single member of the large, close, happy Waller has clan passed on, or left for parts unknown. I'm all about kith and kin and for the past couple of decades I've spent the holidays feeling terribly "family sick". There's just something that felt great about spending Christmas with people whose DNA I shared. After I met Nettl it got even harder because her immediate family tends to look at me as a nice but unredeemable antichrist, they being dyed-in-the-wool Southern Baptists and I being their once-preacher's-wife daughter's same sex partner and all. We spent our first decade together celebrating the holidays within our own blended family: Nettl, myself, and our five kids who are now all grown up and out of the nest.

Since last year, however, I've been able to feel the warmth of a clan again thanks to Nettl's extended family. Last year, they came from Tulsa and Dallas on Boxing day, and we had so much fun, they did it again this year. They came in two cars and a motorcycle; together, we numbered twelve. I made that huge Mexican meal and we sat around talking and laughing—it was so much like the Waller clan—and really enjoying being with each other. Then, Kevin took me out for a ride on his motorcycle. All of the Christmas holiday was fantastic, but yesterday was the best ever. Little Bookends Cottage fairly reverberated with warmth, laughter, and love. I love my new family!

Happy Christmas!

Almost California

This was our house two Christmas Eves ago. This year it looks more like California out there: sparkling blue sky, birds singing... At least we had weather (rain) the last two days while I was shopping.

Had a great time with Ville yesterday. I've never met anyone with such a talent for finding great buys at tag sales. It's deliriously ridiculous how little I spent on so many great gifts. That girl is a genius. After we'd shopped and laughed ourselves into exhaustion, we went to New China for a late lunch/early dinner, then home. It was the best day.

Today I start my baking. I need to make a list of what I have to cook when, though, because that's about all I'll be doing between now and Boxing Day. Oh, and I still have stocking stuffers to get.

This is the happiest Christmas I've had since I was a child; I really believe that. I'm not bragging. I know how hard it is for far too many people these days. I know first hand, as a matter of fact, so I'm merely sharing my joy in hope that some of you will be encouraged by knowing that it can get better, and will! Last year was the absolute worse for us, but this year everything's different. I'm send you all of my warmest and most positive thoughts!

If I don't write another entry before Sunday, have a very Happy Holiday!

Boxing Day at Bookends Cottage

This year, while Nettl plans her Christmas dinner (traditionally, she makes the three major holiday meals because I do the "every day" cooking throughout the year), I'm working on my menu for Boxing Day. People in the States aren't blessed with this December 26 day of friends and food -- most poor suckers are back in their cubicles at work -- but I was introduced to it when I lived in England in the way back when, and I liked it so much, I brought it home with me.

Our new tradition is that Nettl's cousins and other non-immediate family members come to see us on Boxing Day. Some of them drive up to Tulsa from Dallas to spend Christmas with their families, and they all come over here the following day. Last year we went out to eat at Mexico Joes's and we all were disappointed, especially those of Hispanic descent. Well, I can make better Mexican food than that place, so I've decided to do just that. Now, I know this menu isn't even remotely traditional, but when the Universe can manage to get me to that manor house in England, I'll be more than happy to do it the their way. Until then, bite me.

Because I'm a native Californian, my recipes will be slightly different from what our Tex-Mex relations are used to. I'm sure they'll like it anyway. Inasmuch as California was part of Mexico until 1850, this is all part of my heritage, too, gringa that I am.

Pozole de Camarón. Mmmm... a pot of spicy soup consisting of shrimp and hominy, surrounded by bowls of cheese, sour cream, tortilla strips, shredded cabbage, sliced radishes, lime, avocado slices, and cilantro for toppings. Known in Mexico as the great hangover helper.

Tamales. I made these a couple of years ago and they're awesome. Stewed, seasoned, shredded porky goodness wrapped up in little bundles of masa-lined corn husks and steamed to perfection. They take a lot of work--two days--but they're really worth it. In southern California these are traditionally served on Christmas Eve, but I'm saving mine for Boxing Day this year.

Cheese Enchiladas. These are a staple around here, but they go far and are really inexpensive to make. When we have leftovers of any kind of enchiladas, that's all I eat. For days. Major yum!

Itchy Rice. Don't get the wrong idea, I gave this Mexican rice dish this name because the recipe was given to be by my Oxnard friend, Liz, whom I nicknamed Itchy back when we worked together. She comes from a large Mexican family (10 kids!), so she knows her rice! The secret to flaky, non-gummy rice? Use jasmine rice and sauté it in olive oil, stirring constantly, for at least 15 minutes. Gotta get all that starch off of it. Also, make it in a skillet, not a saucepan (use stock instead of water). Works every time.

Frijoles Refritos. Yes, I make them from "scratch". That monkey crap in the cans just doesn't even begin to compare.

Because everything on this menu except the rice takes a couple of days to make, I'll be in the kitchen on Christmas night. Doesn't bother me--I'm looking forward to it! I'm not worrying about making a dessert because the house will be full of sweet things to eat, but the buffet will include a fruit platter of fresh pineapple, oranges, pomegranates, star fruit, papaya, mangoes, and avocados.

So, what time are you dropping by?

A Very Important Day

85 BPM

Since Badger is inquiring after the state of my pulse, I thought I really should make another entry. I'm sorry I've been so remiss in posting lately. I'm just not sleeping well, the result of which is Thyroidzilla making my daytimes rather sluggish. Not sleeping soundly and comfortably play hell with the Hashimoto's and it has been years since I've had any consistently good sleep. And then, editing "War and Peace" takes out of me whatever little physical and mental energy I have left.

But other than that (and the OSU accounting department's decided talent for effing up the simplest of transactions) everything around here is just grand. We are full of the Christmas spirit and look forward to starting the holiday just as soon as the geniuses at OSU realize it shouldn't take three weeks to assign a new vendor number and put my check in the mail to me. It's due to arrive on the 20th. Gee, thanks for giving us a whole three days to do our Christmas food and gift shopping... But this is why I mailed the invoice the night after Thanksgiving; I knew they'd fucker up something. Boone Pickens can force hundreds of people from their homes under the Eminent Domain law and build a $165-million football stadium, but I can't seem to get a $1200 invoice paid in a timely manner. And it happens every.bleeding.time.

You see? This is why I haven't been posting.

But you know what? Something is about to change. I FEEL it. Can't explain it, but I feel it. I'll let you know.

Anyway, time to get my arse up and do something today. Pulse is fine, but it will be better as soon as I take my "up and at 'em" meds.

Thirty-One Years

With your bravado and your pain, your merits and your faults, your voice and your silence, your ideals and your shortcomings, I miss you. I shall not canonize you, I shall only remember.

Chips and Doors

Thanks to Mrs. Anke's blog entry today, this is what I'm craving, and it is what I'm getting us for dinner tonight.

I'm sitting in the living room listening to our eclectic mix of holiday music, freezing. The heat's on, but it's bloody cold today and our front door leaks. It's an old house, you know, and I've put a rolled up blanket on the floor to block some of the cold air, but what I really need—and really want—is one of these. Well, maybe not that ornate. Seems a bit over the top. A simple tapestry on a swinging rod would do just fine.

Anyway, not much to write today. Just got over a migraine. They're not lasting three days like they have for so many years; now they pass in about half the time and they're not as severe. Anyway, that's it for me today.

No Snow, Yet

I don't know why this year is different from any in the past ten years or so, but I got a big dose of Christmas Spirit fairly early on. It's not from the televised hype because we don't watch TV, and it's not from the radio stations that began their 24-hour Christmas playlist as soon as Halloween was over because I never really go anywhere. I think it was Thanksgiving that brought it on. We had such a perfect one this year, we could have made Norman Rockwell's famous painting look like a portrait of a dysfunctional, crack house family. Yeah, it was that good.

Over the weekend we decorated the cottage, with help from Dr. Scott, who's always up for a party. There was a 220-song Christmas playlist on the speakers (and I don't mean only that Burl Ives, Brenda Lee stuff, I mean good music, like Jethro Tull, Loreena McKennitt, Sting, and a lot of classical, too), food, mulled wine--all the usual stuff--and it felt like an extension of the previous holiday. Which bodes well for the rest of the season.

I even have my New Year's resolution sorted out. I never make those, but this year I feel a kind of jackboot behind my ass, ready to propel me anywhere I want to go. My resolution is simple: I want something to happen to me in 2012. I don't care if it's in my creative life, my emotional life, my intellectual, physical, or material life--I just want to make something wonderful happen. And I feel like I can do that.

We were expecting snow all last night. Up to 12 inches were predicted at first, but that number kept dwindling until, in the end, we got big piles of nothing. It's bloody cold, though, and windy. Nice day to stay indoors and edit.

Stay warm!

I Larfed

This is what I woke up to this morning. Thanks, Nettl.

We Don't Need No Steenkin Humbuggery!

On this day, December first, for the past decade, I have woken to a depression the sort of which could drive a less lighthearted person than myself to self-harm. This is no joke. We've been so broke that one year we could only buy each other (meaning the entire family) one thing from the Dollar Tree. On that year our Christmas meal was provided by gift cards that Nettl had received from co-workers. It was dismal, and I seriously wanted to die. Last year, we had no money for Christmas until the mail arrived at 3:30 on Christmas Eve, and that was only $300. Talk about a mad scramble. It's no wonder my health has always taken a nose dive every December. With Hashimoto's  disease being strongly triggered by adrenalin, good or bad, this stuff nearly kills me.

But this year is different. We seem to be slowly reaching the end of a long, terrifying chapter in our life as a family. I woke up this morning with food in the pantry, the rent and utilities paid, and a slowly increasing income. Oh, it's not huge, but we can go get a Christmas tree tomorrow afternoon (we borrowed an artificial tree from Ville and Beau last year, which was a real lifesaver. If not for them, we wouldn't have even had a tree), and presents will begin to appear beneath it over the next couple of weeks.

This is all too good--and I'm still glowing from Thanksgiving! The humbuggery is over at last! Last night, while buying groceries, I even found myself singing along with the Christmas music.

We've learned huge lessons over the past decade. We've learned to tune out the holiday hype (not having cable has separated us from so much stress and propaganda, it's not even funny) and we've lost the drive to spend, spend, spend (not having credit cards has taught us that we don't need to go into debt over silly, extravagant gifts). We've learned to keep the holidays centered on being with the people we love, making music, sharing laughter, and all that good, old-fashioned, Home For the Holidays stuff. These have been very hard lessons--devastating lessons, in fact--but we've learned them.

Oh! Speaking of Home For the Holidays, Nathan will be here! I haven't said much about it, but he's been in the Army since last summer and we haven't seen him since he left. Needless to say, Nettl is fairly dancing on air over this. I can't think of a better gift: our boy home, safe and sound.

So today, instead of editing, I'll be putting together a Holiday playlist for our household music. We just never use our CDs anymore and I prefer music to be shuffled anyway. I'm going to start a shopping list for the holiday foods I want to make, and I'll be making my gift list and checking it twice. It would be perfect if we got snow sometime between now and the 25th, but I'm not going to complain if we don't!